


GENTLE HOUR

by nightrunning



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: ...... who isn't hojo, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Hook-Up, M/M, Mutual Pining, an a whole lot of heavy petting, it's all a ruse to get genesis to see a doctor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-02-04 19:38:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12778053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightrunning/pseuds/nightrunning
Summary: It's the oldest story in the book - and painfully obvious to everyone around them - but Angeal and Genesis have been into one another since... forever; the tension between them has become almost unbearable. A fortnight apart puts things into perspective, however. Angeal takes an impulsive risk that doesn't quite pay off, and has to back down in order to go forward. Zack tries his best to help. | Modern AU with a happy ending (no degradation for anyone!)





	1. ACT 1

**** It’d been a long fortnight, so Angeal couldn’t fault Zack for his excitement. He was a bright smile in a dense crowd, jumping for his attention, but Angeal didn’t have any hands free to wave back.

 

He followed the flood through the arrivals corridor, with a laptop case slung over his shoulder and a suitcase in his other hand, trailing behind him. The people around were a blur; some walked slowly, craning their necks to spot their family, and others hustled, chasing a transfer, maybe, or perhaps just a hotel bed and a closed door. Angeal felt somewhere between it all as he made his way through towards Zack… and Genesis, who had to be nearby.

 

Angeal had spent half the flight home thinking about this. He and Gen had never spent so much time apart before, and for as much as he was dying to see him and his little lopsided smiles again, he wasn’t sure what to  _ do _ when they met. Angeal couldn’t even focus on thinking it through; his heartbeat thudded through his chest, someone was talking indecipherably over the tannoy, and everyone else seemed to be speaking lowly, hushed conversations he wasn’t a part of.

 

Zack was still grinning when Angeal finally made his way to them. He clung eagerly onto Genesis’ arm.

 

‘Hey!’ Zack chirruped. ‘Angeal, how you doing?’ He gave Gen a tug and managed a half-hearted sort of harrumphed look when he was shaken off. Angeal watched Genesis move closer, feeling leaden and clumsy. He mustered a smile… and Genesis returned it only an instant before he was close enough to be swept into a bracing one-armed hug.

 

‘Ange,’ he whispered into the crook of his neck, and the both of them laughed together, drawing closer; the relief was instant.

 

With words still feeling a touch too brittle and blasé, Angeal rested his cheek on Gen’s crown and squeezed him around the middle. He was warm to hold, a touch slighter than he remembered, but good to feel pressed near after all this time. Genesis’ arms were around his shoulders, and he slipped a hand through Angeal’s scarf to toy with the hair at the nape of his neck. He’d missed Gen the moment they’d said goodbye, but until now it hadn’t been a physical keening…

 

Angeal shivered, pressed a kiss to Gen’s hair, and pulled away to look at him.

 

‘Hey,’ he said, softly. Genesis was smiling still, but there were shadows beneath his eyes that were darker than they had been before. Angeal frowned, letting go of the suitcase to take Gen’s face gently in his hand and fix a gaze between them. ‘You doing okay?’

 

‘I’m alive, aren’t I? No thanks to you.’ Genesis teased.

 

‘We talked about this, how we’re aiming for better than  _ alive _ .” Angeal said, and smiled despite himself. He brushed a thumb over Gen’s cheek, as far removed now from the airport buzz as he could be, and moreso when he dropped his gaze a little lower to where Genesis’ lips were parted ever so slightly. Strange, he thought, that before he’d doubted if he should even  _ touch _ Gen when they reunited. Now he had to wonder…

 

_ I’ve kissed him before _ , he reminded himself, but those times had never been on the lips, or meant more than a passing affection.

 

Still, the ache was stronger each day, and bolder now after a fortnight apart. Angeal withdrew his hand. Genesis raised a brow.

 

‘I’ve missed this,’ he said, quietly. ‘there’s been nobody to play nursemaid to my mental patient.’

 

Angeal rolled his eyes at Gen’s smirk. He was struck again by the dark smudges, but Zack spared him the task of having to think of words gentle enough to point them out.

 

‘Hey, Ange!’ he carolled, looking for all the world like a puppy who can’t quite hold still when told to sit.

 

Angeal gave Genesis a pat on the shoulder, drumming up a new smile. ‘How’ve you been?’

 

Zack beamed. He was bundled against the cold with a black beanie and a jacket that looked like it could double as a life jacket. Out of the airport windows the sky was black as pitch; it was just shy of midnight, Saturday passing into Sunday, with no stars to see, only a top-down reflection of the shifting airport crowd.

 

‘Good, yeah! It’s been real busy. Hey, did you get me anything?’

 

Angeal blinked. Zack clasped his hands together, and Genesis peeled away from Angeal’s arms with a huff. He tugged the laptop case from him and pushed it towards Zack, then took the suitcase for himself.

 

‘You don’t have to do that, Gen,’ Angeal said, and laughed a little when Genesis spouted a dry  _ too late _ . Zack sidled closer. Angeal looked to him, guiltily. ‘Sorry, Zack, I was out in the sticks with my mother, not at a resort.’

 

Zack’s hope crumbled. He pouted, and Angeal gave him a pat on the hat (seeing as his hair was unavailable for ruffling). His mother had sent a gift back for Genesis, and he was sure she’d have found something for Zack too, had he thought to ask.

 

‘There’s no way he’d go to a resort and not take me,’ Genesis said, adjusting his coat collar.

 

‘Ain’t that the truth.’ Zack mumbled.

 

Genesis fumbled in his pocket, then extracted a set of silver keys which he threw to Zack. Or  _ at _ Zack, rather; they clattered off his coat and onto the floor. ‘You’re a working man, now,’ he said, watching him shoulder the laptop and bend for the keys. ‘buy your own shit, and drive us home,’

 

They headed through the airport, then, following Genesis towards the carpark. Angeal walked without thinking; the crowds thinned when they left arrivals behind, and everyone seemed to share in a strange, airport-specific torpor. People sat on metal benches with bleary eyes, watching LED screens scrolls from page to page, and a girl in one of the coffee shops was asleep on a table, using her scarf as a pillow. Angeal was glad to be going home, and Zack hurried to keep pace.

 

‘You know, I can use the running machines now without asking for help. I got it all on lock.’ Zack said, with a haughty little smile.

 

‘That’s excellent news,’

 

‘Yeah!’ Zack shifted the strap of the laptop case. ‘And hey, guess what? I got a guy, a friend, actually, who says he wants to start training with me. Weird, right?’

 

‘What, that he picked  _ you _ ?’ Genesis asked, dryly, without looking back. Zack rolled his eyes and elected to ignore him.

 

‘Did you agree to it?’ Angeal asked.

 

Zack nodded. ‘Yeah, and, well, this is kind of why I brought it up, but you’re gonna have to teach me some shit about how to teach people, ‘cause I really don’t have any idea. I don’t wanna look stupid in front of him.’

 

‘Young love!’

 

‘ _ Gen _ !’ Zack squawked.

 

Genesis looked over his shoulder with a smirk, but otherwise dropped the subject, guiding them around a corner into a narrower corridor. His coat fluttered open, and beneath it Angeal thought he saw…

 

‘Is that my shirt?’ he asked, before he could stop himself.

 

Genesis slowed; there was a pretty blush across the top of his cheeks. ‘It’s, yeah…’ he said, then narrowed his eyes and turned his back, pressing on more quickly, now. ‘Come on, we’re almost there. Don’t you want to get home?’

 

Angeal didn’t say that he already very much felt as though he was. He  _ did _ swat at Zack’s shoulder when he passed, though, seeing as he was grinning in that way he did after seeing something between him and Gen. ‘Better do as he says,’

 

Zack laughed, a knowing glimmer in his eye. ‘For sure.’

  
  
  


It was damned cold outside, and the biting chill took them all by surprise. The air nipped cruelly at their face and hands, and even Zack in his hundred layers shivered and shuddered, following Gen on the way to Zack’s car, swearing under his breath.

 

Angeal watched the two of them load his cases into the boot of Zack’s tin can car, fighting a compulsion to help. One fixed glance from Genesis told him to think better of it, however. It was impossible not to watch him. Even ruffled in the harsh orange light from the streetlamps he was lovely; his breath came in neat clouds, and occasionally he’d reach with a gloved hand to brush the hair from his eyes.

 

‘Alright,’ Zack said and slammed the boot shut, scaring Angeal half to death. ‘she’s all loaded up. Let’s get the hell outta here,’

 

‘First things first; heating on.’ Gen grumbled through a shiver.

 

‘Gotcha.’

 

Zack flashed Angeal a grin across the car roof as Angeal reached for the shotgun door, but then he felt a tug on his coat; Genesis was peeking out from the backseat.

 

‘You’re in here, with me,’ he said.

 

Angeal went willingly when Gen shuffled over. He closed the door behind him, prompting Zack to peer behind at them with widened eyes.

 

‘You’re not riding copilot?’ he asked.

 

‘A driver shouldn’t be distracted.’ Genesis said, flatly.

 

‘Yeah, really? Genesis, on the drive up here you put a cold can on my forehead when we were on the motorwa-’ Zack started, stopping when Genesis flapped a hand and  _ shh _ -ed him into a pout. Zack only pouted more when Angeal shrugged. He started the ignition mumbling something about  _ driving on his own _ .

 

Zack put the radio on low and took them away from the airport, towards home. It was too late for there to be much traffic, so they went quickly through the dark, with each streetlamp they passed shocking the car amber for a second. Angeal didn’t recognise the music. Genesis had come to rest his head on his shoulder, and it was only when he shifted to yawn that Angeal remembered…

 

He produced the small box from his pocket and gave Gen a nudge.

 

‘What is it?’ Genesis whispered, looking down in the dark and seeing the box. He froze. Angeal’s heart stuttered;  _ oh, God, it does look like a ring box… _

 

Genesis still hadn’t moved. So, to assure him that he wasn’t being proposed to in the back of Zack’s car after a fortnight apart, having never kissed properly or said anything resembling a romantic  _ I love you _ , Angeal opened the box himself. Inside, on a bed of velvet, was a small silver chain, just about catching the low light in its links.

 

‘It’s from my mother,’ he said, simply.

 

‘Why?’

 

Angeal shook his head. He’d asked her the same thing; Gen wasn’t given to jewellery besides what he already wore. His mother had smiled, knowing something that had gone over Angeal’s head. She and Genesis were alike in that regard. Angeal held out the box for him to take. ‘I don’t know. I think it’s an aunt’s, or a great aunt’s,’

 

Genesis looked to him, rife with confusion. ‘And she wants  _ me _ to have it? Not you?’

 

‘That’s what she said.’

 

‘Angeal-’

 

‘She also said for you to take it without a fuss,’ Genesis ran his fingers lightly across the chain… and Angeal felt it too, a brush of a fingertip over his skin. ‘besides,’ he went on, quietly. ‘you’re family to us, you know that.’

 

Genesis nodded. He’d tensed up, with no clever words to pull from the air and sharpen, and no space to deflect the conversation elsewhere. Angeal adored it, and met his gaze when Gen looked shyly to him.

 

‘Yeah, and I’m your skivvy chauffeur.’ Zack grumbled, effortlessly murdering the moment. Genesis looked away, out the window. Angeal bit back a curse.

 

‘Zack?’

 

‘Yessir?’

 

‘What are you doing tomorrow?’

 

Angeal saw Zack’s face light up in the rear-view mirror. ‘Shit, nothing. Why?’

 

‘We’ll go over your training routine if you can get to the gym. How’s that sound?’

 

‘Nice! You got it - thanks, man,’

 

Angeal slipped an arm around Genesis’ shoulders, drawing him in close. Gen was looking at the chain, still, with a frown playing on his lips, but the expression softened when he noticed Angeal watching him. He smiled tiredly, and tugged Angeal’s coat out from under him to use as a blanket. Angeal was happy to serve as his pillow.

 

‘You should sleep, Gen,’ he said, drawing small, slow circles into the crook of his neck with his thumb.

 

‘Later,’ Genesis murmured. ‘you only just got back,’

 

Angeal smiled, then bowed to kiss the top of his head. ‘Alright,’

  
  
  


An hour and a half later, Genesis was fast asleep, and Zack slowed the car to a crawl, pulling up on the curb outside Angeal’s place; a two bedroom house on a backroad cul-de-sac. Zack stretched in his seat. Angeal gave Genesis’ shoulder a light squeeze, whispered his name, and watched him come to, grumbling.

 

‘Are we there?’ he asked, blurry and blinking. Angeal nodded. Genesis ran a hand through hair that didn’t have any desire to be smoothed out so easily. ‘I should probably have asked this before, but-’

 

‘You can stay,’ Angeal laughed, hopelessly charmed by the way Genesis sat up to be properly and visibly affronted. ‘I’d like it if you did,’

 

‘Alright, smartass, thank you,’

 

‘Go on ahead,’ he said, handing over the house keys. Genesis took them with a grimace, handed Angeal his coat, then unbelted and opened the car door. The wind came for him quickly; he practically ran to the house. Angeal watched him disappear inside before clambering out to fetch his bags from the boot.

 

Zack was grinning from the driver’s window when he came to say goodbye.

 

‘Sleepover?’

 

‘Something like that,’ said Angeal,  _ only we’re thirty-odd years old and are probably gonna fall asleep within ten minutes _ . ‘how’s he been, Zack?’

 

‘Alright. Kinda weird without you - you’re the only one he listens to.’

 

Angeal raised a brow. ‘You know that’s not true. There’s Sephiroth.’

 

‘Yeah, there’s Sephiroth, who Genesis not only doesn’t listen to, but makes a habit of doing the opposite of whatever he  _ does _ say.’ Zack smirked. ‘For real? I dunno. Something’s got his goat, but he never wanted to talk about it. I figured he’d be okay again when you got back, cause… y’know.’

 

Angeal did not know. ‘No, what is it?’

 

Zack winced. ‘C’mon, man,’ When Angeal could only frown and shrug, Zack pulled his beanie off and carded a hand through his hair. ‘You guys are gonna… I mean, now that you’re back, you two are gonna…’

 

He steepled his fingertips together.

 

‘What?’

 

‘Ange. You’re gonna hook up, right? Or, well, no,’ Zack shook his head. ‘not  _ hook up _ but you know, make this thing official?’

 

_ Official?  _ Angeal looked away, quickly, over the top of the car. There was nothing to see besides the vague shapes of the trees in the dark, but a cold hand had gripped him tight and held him in place. What he and Genesis had was… good, just enough to press a touch to the ache in him that went begging, but not enough to jeopardise their friendship. Being  _ official _ was a thought Angeal only ever let himself dwell on late at night.  _ Which is now, actually,  _ he realised with a dull thud.

 

Gen acting out because he wanted more between them…

 

Angeal rubbed at his jaw.

 

‘I think you’re looking at this the wrong way,’ he said to Zack.

 

‘If you say so,’ Zack said, with a pointed glance Angeal was more used to giving, not receiving. ‘you always get on my ass about being honest, though. You can talk to me about…’ he nodded in the direction of the house. ‘If you wanna, of course. Just… I mean, you don’t have to pretend with me.’

 

‘It’s very late, Zack, I…’

 

‘I gotcha. See you tomorrow?’

 

Angeal let out a breath that shuddered into a cloud of mist. He tapped the car roof and took a step back.

 

‘Sure. Goodnight, Zack,’

 

‘Night!’

 

Angeal watched Zack turn the car around, back out on the road, away, waving until the tail lights blinked out around the corner.  _ Official. _ A part of him felt filled to capacity, and each second that passed now was another drop, threatening to cause a spill. Angeal stayed a while on the pavement, listening to the quiet drone of the roads nearby, the nighttime birds in their dark roosts; he wanted to sleep and hand things over to dreams, where he wouldn’t have to make the choices himself.

 

He sighed as he turned and started towards the front door; whatever he and Genesis were, official or otherwise, it would have to be enough for tonight.

  
  


*      *      *

 

Genesis sat down heavily on the yoga mat Angeal had been about to roll up and put away. He stretched and shucked off his coat, then lay back with a sigh, like a world weary sunbather on a seashore somewhere, not the inside of the gym in the middle of winter, on a particularly miserable day.

 

He’d swept in like the whirlwind he was, a blaze of red in a scarf that trailed over his shoulder. Gen’s cheeks had a touch of pink to them from the cold, and he was complaining before he’d set eyes on Angeal or come through the studio door.

 

‘-should have done it on the internet, the the colour isn’t always the same, and there’s really no time to place an order, wait for it, then find out it’s fucked up wrong and send it back, and-’

 

‘Genesis,’

 

‘-try again, not with the weekend so soon. And, of course, it’s a bank holiday on Monday, isn’t it?’

 

‘Gen,’

 

‘Have you decided on something?’ Genesis asked.

 

‘Decided on what?’ Angeal said, peering down at him.

 

‘Weren’t you listening?’ Genesis frowned, and though he opened his mouth again to scold, no doubt, he caught himself before he could. Angeal recognised it in his eyes and the slight tensing of his jaw. ‘Ah. Something to wear for Zack’s,’ Gen gestured with a gloved hand, stirring the air above him with two pointed fingertips. ‘little get-together.’

 

‘I didn’t know we had to get dressed up for that,’ Angeal said, uncertainly. Zack’s idea of a party was usually the four of them squeezed onto his ratty couch watching TLC, so not a party at all, really.

 

‘We don’t  _ have  _ to,’ Genesis dropped his hand onto his chest. ‘but it would be a nice change of pace, don’t you think?’

 

Angeal looked down at himself; he liked his work clothes, but it was most likely because they weren’t so different to what he wore at home. Comfy tops, sleeveless, usually, with track pants and trainers - the standard fare for personal trainers. Genesis, on the other hand, was pulling off one of his leather gloves with his teeth, wearing a jumper Angeal knew was worth its weight in gold (or cashmere).

 

‘Well, there’s still time.’ Angeal assured him, looking decidedly away from what he was doing with his mouth.

 

‘Mmm. I might look again after dinner, which, by the way, we’re still getting together, yes?’

 

‘I need to tidy up first.’

 

‘Oh,’ Genesis frowned, seeming to notice for the first time that he wasn’t at home, draped across a settee. ‘well, don’t let me stop you.’

 

In truth, there wasn’t that much left to do. His studio in the gym was bright and airy, with two floor to ceiling length windows and a yellow couch in amongst the workout equipment. A few stray pieces of kit needed to be put away, the weights counted and checked, but it’d been a quiet day reconnecting with his clients after his break in the country. Genesis didn’t budge from the yoga mat. He’d taken his phone from his pocket and, oddly, put it out of arm’s reach, rolling away and turning his back. It buzzed and rattled across the floor, would stop for a moment, then start again.

 

Genesis worried at his lower lip. He was in no rush to answer it, clearly, and Angeal had to remind himself, again, not to stare.

 

_ Too late. _

 

Gen caught his eye with a groan.

 

‘Don’t.’ he said.

 

‘Is everything alright?’ Angeal asked.

 

‘It’s just my parents. Leave it.’

 

Angeal frowned; that didn’t explain things in the slightest. ‘What do they want?’

 

‘Oh, God knows. An apology, probably. I’m not in the mood.’

 

‘An apology for what?’ Angeal pressed. It was dangerous ground to be stepping on, but Genesis had a terrible habit of bottling his issues until they boiled and broke the glass, igniting into wildfire. “Sorry” was a hard word to wring out of the unwilling, Genesis moreso than anyone, probably.  _ Best get a headstart with it _ , Angeal thought to himself, moving to tidy away two leftover weights.

 

‘Nothing bad. I did what you suggested I do, actually. I told them that I feel so…’ Genesis heaved a sigh. ‘Oh, you know.’

 

Angeal nodded. “Invisible” was the word he’d used in that coffee place some weeks ago. They’d taken a trip out of the city together, and then, like now, his parents had called. Angeal empathised as closely as he could, but he couldn’t entirely relate; his mother doted on him, and Genesis being “invisible” to anyone seemed impossible.

 

A rush of warm affected went through him, then.  _ Official. _

 

‘And, ah,’ Angeal cleared his throat. ‘what did they say?’

 

Genesis scoffed, cruelly. ‘They took it completely the wrong way.’ he said, then carried on in a mockery of his parents’ clipped tone. ‘ _ We’ve taken care of you for nearly three decades! We brought you up ourselves! Gave you the best start! _ You get the picture.’

 

His phone started to ring again. Genesis swore and turned away, then gaped, wordlessly, when Angeal came and picked it up.

 

‘What are you doing?’

 

‘It sounds like a misunderstanding, Gen. Surely between the three of us we can sort it out,’ Angeal explained, pained by the glare he was getting, but thinking of a time in the future, where this had all been put to rest.

 

‘Misunderstanding? There’s nothing accidental about it!’ Genesis snapped. ‘They’ve been  _ misunderstanding _ for the better part of thirty years, since I was a child. Leave it be! If they’re pissed,’ Genesis frowned, gestured sharply, a disregarding  _ flick _ of the wrist. “let them be pissed!’

 

‘Can’t you talk to them?’

 

Genesis narrowed his eyes. ‘I did.’ he said, weighing each word with lead.

 

‘I mean since then, Genesis.’

 

‘No!’ Genesis barked, looking around for an exit, maybe, or a distraction. Something held him in place, however, even if he wasn’t holding his tongue. ‘Please, I could tell them I scaled Everest upside down only using my fingertips and they’d say  _ whatever _ , that somebody already climbed it that way twenty years ago.’

 

It was no secret that Genesis and his parents didn’t see eye to eye, but the fresh hurt in the vitriol stung. The phone vibrated in his hand. Genesis was breathing hard, looking at him with what was almost a plea in his eyes; not quite green, not quite blue, but a bright muddle in between.

 

‘That’s not true,’ Angeal said, softly.

 

‘It is. Please, leave it alone.’

 

In the moment it took for Angeal to hesitate, the call ended. The phone buzzed a second later with a new voicemail, and Gen’s expression hollowed. Perhaps he sensed a peak to his annoyance and was moving to curtail it, or maybe he’d been struck low by the surely dozens of waiting notifications - whatever it was, it softened him. Genesis held out a hand.

 

‘Ange, let’s just go for dinner?’

 

There was no way he was resisting that look. Angeal passed the phone back… but caught a glance of the newest message preview as he did.

 

_ This is your last chance, Genesis. _

 

Angeal looked up quickly. Genesis hadn’t seen it; he was looking out at the window with a frown as he tucked the phone away, as though if he didn’t look, and if he was lucky, it might get lost in the dark in-between places of his coat and pocket. Angeal wondered if he ought to speak up…

 

But the moment seemed too tender already.  _ Besides, _ Angeal thought, _ he’ll read it himself at some point. _

 

It was a bitter resolution.

 

‘Stop that.’

 

Angeal blinked. Genesis was looking at him, now.

 

‘What’s that?’

 

Genesis arched a brow. ‘You don’t need to look so pained. They’re not your parents.’

 

‘No,’ Angeal started, holding out a hand and helping Genesis to his feet. ‘but you know what you are to me. I don’t want to see you suffer, Gen.’

 

Genesis made a sound, a little  _ hmm _ , and paired it with a vague smile that drew one out from Angeal, too. He looked back towards the window. The clouds hadn’t budged an inch; the sun struggled to break through, and so the light outside was muggy and incandescent. It was a day better spent in bed.

 

Angeal picked up Genesis’ gloves.

 

‘Are you ready now?’ Gen asked, accepting them with a care.

 

‘Almost. I need to shower.’

 

Genesis’ smile brightened. ‘You do,’ he agreed, slipping on a glove, then nodding, gesturing away, somewhere. ‘Don’t let me stop you.’


	2. Chapter 2

Zack’s party ended up being pretty mellow after all, but Angeal wasn’t complaining - he was a touch too old for late night ragers. He left Sephiroth and Genesis on the sofa to hunt for something to eat, seeing as the food Zack had put out at the start of the night barely lasted an hour. Genesis reached out to grab him;  _ be a doll and bring something back for me,  _ he’d said, and Sephiroth had rolled his eyes... before adding  _ me too. _

 

Angeal headed for the kitchen and found Reno and Rude had already cased the joint. Rude nodded. Reno grinned sheepishly; he was neck deep in Zack’s fridge, rummaging.

 

‘Guy eats like a chocobo,’ he complained, giving the veggies in the crisper a withering look before shutting the door.

 

‘I found something.’ said Rude. 

 

Reno whirled round holding out a hand. He blinked dully when Rude put a granola bar in it. ‘Dude. What the hell?’

 

‘S’good for you,’

 

Reno  _ huffed _ but started tearing into it all the same. He seemed to remember Angeal, then, and flashed him a fresh grin. ‘Long time no see!’

 

‘You’re looking well,’ Angeal said. Reno beamed and flexed the arm with the granola bar - which wasn’t in any immediate danger of being crushed, Angeal thought privately to himself.

 

‘Ha! Didn’t I tell ya that people were starting to notice the guns?’ he chirped at Rude, who raised a brow and wisely said nothing. Reno dismissed him with an  _ ugh _ and a wave of his hand, scattering crumbs across Zack’s linoleum floor. ‘Anyway, how’s things? Work keeping you busy?’

 

‘Increasingly so, yes,’

 

‘People wanna get ripped for the holidays, huh?’ Reno asked. Rude smiled, smally.

 

‘There’s no better time to pick up a new good habit,’ said Angeal. He noticed a bunch of plastic cups on the sink draining board and added his own to the cluster, knowing other guests wouldn’t be so discerning - Zack would be finding empty ones all around the apartment well into tomorrow. ‘Are you two doing alright?’

 

‘Yup, we just paid for two tickets to the sun next year, baby!’

 

‘He means abroad.’

 

Reno squawked at Rude. ‘That’s what I said! Been saving up vacation days for ages. You can’t do Costa del Sol on a fuckin’... mini break, or something, nah, you gotta do it right,’

 

‘You’ll have a lovely time, I’m sure,’ Angeal said with a smile he closely curtailed. He could all too easily imagine Reno waking up on a sunlounger with a bright white handprint on his red stomach. Still, he didn’t begrudge the pair a break.

 

‘But I bet you’re glad to be back, huh?’ Reno asked, and his smile changed to something impish he recognised in Zack, too, from time to time.

 

‘Back home?’

 

‘Back with Red,’

 

_ That obvious, huh? _ Angeal shifted awkwardly, supposing he couldn’t well deny it. ‘It’s always nice to see Genesis again,’

 

With a flourish of his granola bar, Reno grinned, seeming to think he’d won something in the exchange. Rude glanced at Angeal over the top of his dark glasses. ‘Don’t listen to him - he’s two drinks deep and already out of it,’

 

‘I’ve had more than two!’ Reno said around a mouthful.

 

‘Nah.’

 

‘Oh, it’s  _ so _ on. Where’d you hide the b- uh,’ Reno started, full of bluster until, again, he remembered Angeal was privy to the conversation. He looked sheepish for a whole second before his eyes took up a new twinkle. He tapped Rude on the stomach, smirking. ‘Hey, didn’t Elena and Cis… didn’t they find some?’

 

Rude nodded, and gave Angeal a curt  _ see ya _ as he moved past him out of the kitchen. Reno followed more animatedly, craning to see over his friend’s shoulder. Angeal watched them go with a bemused blink - far be it for him to chase them down and tell them that Elena and Cissnei had snuck off and locked the bedroom door a half hour ago.

 

After fixing himself a fresh cup of water and checking to make sure Zack’s fridge was still fully stocked, Angeal deemed the mission to recover the snacks a miserable failure, seeing as he was certain Genesis wouldn’t be too happy if he brought him back a head of lettuce. He retreated back to the sitting room and waved when Zack passed by on his own mission to find a bottle opener. Cloud, the bright-eyed boy he’d met at the gym, followed at his heels, like a lost pu-  _ wait. _

 

Angeal blinked.  _ If Cloud’s the puppy, what does that make Zack? _ God, what did it make  _ him? _

 

He didn’t linger on the thought.

 

Sephiroth and Genesis hadn’t moved from where he’d left them on the sofa, but though Sephiroth was in something of a daze, watching the gems for sale on a shopping channel, Genesis was fast asleep, slumped uncomfortably in the corner.

 

‘Did you find anything?’ Sephiroth asked..

 

‘Reno and Rude,’ said Angeal, settling in between Sephiroth and Gen after putting his cup on the coffee table. He put an arm around Genesis’ shoulder and carefully repositioned him so that his head rested on his chest. Things seemed to click into place with Gen’s weight and warmth pressed close, and Angeal passed his smile on to Sephiroth. ‘but nothing to eat, no,’

 

‘Unfortunate.’

 

‘Mmm,’ Angeal looked back to Genesis, who was never so peaceful awake as he was in his slumber, and allowed himself a moment to appreciate Gen’s features; pretty cheekbones and a strong nose, and those lips that were petal soft… ‘has he said anything about his parents?’

 

‘No. We watched Iron Chef and then he hid Zack’s bottle opener under the couch,’ Sephiroth watched the saleslady on the TV bevel a zirconia necklace.

 

Angeal nodded; that wasn’t so surprising, Genesis had a hard enough time opening up to him about what was happening, let alone Sephiroth. He was brushing back the bangs from Gen’s eyes when the TV caught his.

 

‘Why are you watching the shopping channel with the sound turned all the way down?’

 

There were 100 gil mookaite rings reflected in Sephiroth’s stare. ‘Because. Sleeping beauty is… asleep.’

 

‘Nice one,’ said Zack from the doorway. He returned Angeal’s smile and shut the door behind him, falling heavily and horizontally across the spare armchair. He had on a pair of fluffy, festive, thermal socks, and a jumper that didn’t even remotely match; Angeal rather thought it was for the best that Genesis wasn’t awake to see it. ‘you guys know we’re supposed to be having a party, right?’

 

‘We’re here.  _ At _ your party.’ Sephiroth reminded him.

 

Zack flapped a hand at the tree of them; one asleep, one just glad to be sat down, and one absorbed deeply into the QVC channel. ‘Is this gonna happen to me when I get old? Am I gonna wanna just…  _ sit _ all the time?’

 

‘Yup,’ said Angeal, faux-grimly.

 

Zack pouted. ‘You guys are supposed to be the life of the party!’

 

‘Where’d you get that idea, Zack?’ Angeal smirked, rubbing small circles into Genesis’ shoulder.

 

‘I’ve heard the stories,’ Zack narrowed his eyes. ‘What about that New Year’s party you guys always bring up? The one a couple years ago,’

 

Sephiroth scoffed, looking sidelong at Genesis… then at Angeal, with a sly look in his eyes. Angeal didn’t back down.  _ It’s not like he doesn’t know, after all… _ He’d guessed long before Angeal had the courage to tell him.

 

_ “Pining after your oldest friend. Well, one thing the both of you have in common - you’re not subtle.” _

 

‘That night we waited for four hours in the accident and emergency department, Zack. Genesis broke his little finger jumping over a bonfire -  _ trying _ to jump over one, rather. We saw the New Year in from a hospital ward.’

 

Zack’s eyes widened, and Angeal couldn’t help a fond smile when he saw the grin blossoming on his face. ‘What?!’ he whispered, leaning forward. ‘That’s so cool! And that’s exactly what I mean!’

 

Sephiroth rolled his eyes. ‘Be thankful he’s asleep,’

 

Angeal nodded. Genesis’ breathing was deep and warm, a soft tickle across the exposed skin between his shirt collars.  _ He needs it, _ he thought to himself, wondering too if it were easier for Genesis to fall asleep somewhere like this, rather than the quiet of his bedroom, alone, with nothing besides his parents and his work to occupy his thoughts.

 

‘He’s not having the easiest of times,’ Angeal said, softly.

 

Sephiroth made a low noise that might’ve been agreement or another half-hearted scoff. Angeal frowned at him, and when he turned to Zack - who’d become uncannily quiet - he felt his stomach bottom out. There was a question in his eyes he recognised all too well.

 

‘Hey, Ange?’

 

_ Here it is. _ Angeal forced a smile. ‘Yes, Zack?’

 

‘You and Genny are together, right?’

 

Angeal exhaled. Was there even a clear enough answer to put into words? Genesis shifted in his sleep, Sephiroth hung onto every word (he didn’t even pretend not to), and Zack had such plain curiosity on his face that Angeal couldn’t entirely begrudge him.

 

‘It’s.. I don’t think we, no-’

 

‘Oh, c’mon!’ Zack teased, keeping his voice low. ‘You guys are joined at the hip,’

 

‘That doesn’t imply romance,’ Sephiroth argued.

 

Zack made a face. ‘No, but neither of them are like  _ that _ with anyone else,’

 

‘We grew up together, Zack,’ Angeal added.

 

‘Yeah, and I grew up with people, too,’ Zack pressed, and blushed when Sephiroth raised a brow. ‘I mean… ugh! It would all make way more sense if you two were dating - you gotta admit that.’

 

_ Would it? _ Angeal had long learned not to confuse  _ sense _ with  _ desire _ . There was too much to lose between them to stake on something potentially one-sided - Angeal squeezed Gen’s shoulder, taking in the slight flutter of his lashes and the way his chest rose and fell. These easy, intimate moments between them, so simple and taken for granted, were the most important.  _ Too _ important to risk. 

 

Angeal told himself so, over the keening ache that rose up to dispute him.

 

‘It’s not as simple as you might think,’ he whispered. Sephiroth nodded.

 

‘Alright,’ Zack sat back and folded his arms. ‘so, like, say if Gen started dating someone else - you’d be pissed, right?’

 

‘Genesis wouldn’t do that.’ Sephiroth frowned.

 

Zack flapped a hand at him. ‘Hey, shush! Ange?’

 

_ Someone else… _ Angeal shook his head. The thought was a raw nerve ending of his affection; something that always stung if he chanced to test it. He’d long since come to terms with the fact he was dedicated solely Gen, one way or another, but Genesis…  _ Well _ , why shouldn’t he seek the company of another? It’s not as though they had a physical relationship beyond tight hugs and stray kisses, and Genesis was beautiful, beyond stunning, a fiery mind and a passionate soul; it was his right to seek company, meaningful or otherwise.

 

‘Genesis can do whatever he wishes,’ Angeal said, truthfully, but even to his ears the words rang sullen.

 

Zack’s smile softened, but didn’t dissipate. ‘And  _ there’s  _ my point.’

 

*                     *                     *

 

Angeal locked the bathroom door with numb fingers. He didn’t bother with the light; all he needed was to shut the party away, just for a moment, just until he could remember how to breathe. There was a horrible tingle beneath his skin, like white noise, and a pain behind his ribs.

 

His head was battered, too. Full of questions, hope without hope. Not even Sephiroth’s attempt to turn the conversation to gemstone classifications had worked to settle Angeal’s thoughts. He’d sat, pinned by Gen’s little weight, whilst a barrage of  _ what if _ s and  _ maybe _ s fizzled into life for a bright burning second, only to go up in smoke.

 

Time just wasn’t on Angeal’s side anymore. He was the wrong side of thirty, too old to be having these emotional episodes and too fragile now to let them push and pull him the way they did. Genesis, too, was a force by himself, and Angeal only wanted to not ache anymore.

 

He thought of home and laughed dryly.  _ ‘Cause wouldn’t it be better if he were there, too, and if it were ours, not just mine. _

 

Angeal swore under his breath and went to sit on the edge of the tub. He pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes and tried to clear his head. Every memory was laced through with  _ red _ , every daydream, every possibility. Zack had been right about them being joined at the hip, but it was only at the hip.

 

A light hand rapped on the door.

 

‘Ange?’

 

The red came again. Angeal pressed a little harder with his hands.

 

‘Genesis,’

 

‘Gotcha!’ carolled the man himself. He rattled the door handle and made a haughty sound when he found it locked. ‘Care to let me in? Sephiroth sent me to make sure you didn’t go diving out the window - I said there’s no way you’d fit through, but, well, here I am, anyway,’

 

Angeal exhaled, sharp and quick, then stood and unlocked the door. The  _ click _ of the lock, turning, seemed to rattle through his old bones, and Genesis barrelled in without hesitation. Angeal closed the door again behind him.

 

He turned, then, and saw Genesis looking awkwardly at the unlit bulb and shadowy room - and Angeal knew his less-than-sunny countenance probably didn’t add anything to the ambience.

 

‘I’m still here,’ he said.

 

‘Are you?’ Genesis laughed, but there was barely any humour behind it. ‘You scurried away rather quickly. You do know they’re expecting you to come back with food.’

 

‘There’s none left, I already checked,’ Angeal took his seat on the tub’s edge again.

 

‘And I take it you’re not in here looking for more,  _ so _ ,’ Genesis teased, and came to sit between Angeal’s legs on the floor, looking up at him with eyes that were bright even in the dark. ‘won’t you tell me why you’ve locked yourself in Zack’s bathroom?’

 

Angeal looked down at his hands clasped in his lap.

 

‘I needed a moment.’

 

Genesis sighed, turning his back and leaning against the bath. ‘Alright, you keep your secrets, then,’

 

‘It’s not like that,’

 

‘Not a secret? But what else is it if you won’t tell me?’ Gen argued. He glanced restlessly over his shoulder, then shrugged when all Angeal could do in reply was gawp. ‘I understand - we all need to foister ourselves away from time to time. Not always in Zackary Fair’s bathroom, but, needs must, I suppose,’

 

Angeal had to smile, smally; trust Genesis to make a song and dance out of a simple  _ alright, then. _ He set a hand on his shoulder, unable to help himself from following the curve of his neck, tangling his fingers in his hair. Not even the shadows could sap the colour from it completely; the perfect auburn, as bright as the rest of him.

 

‘How was your nap?’

 

Genesis leant into his touch with a hum. ‘Surprisingly  _ good _ , considering the setting. I half expected to wake with a new phallic tattoo of the sharpie variety.’

 

‘A new one? So you already have one?’

 

‘You keep your secrets and I’ll keep mine,’ Genesis smirked. ‘what I definitely do have is a crick in my neck, which is arguably worse,’

 

‘That’s not worse, Gen,’ Angeal said, softly.

 

‘It’s a big crick,’

 

Angeal knew a cue when he heard one. He sat forward and set his hands on Gen’s shoulders, starting to knead him through the knit of his black jumper. Genesis sighed, contentedly, and Angeal fumbled for something else to focus on.

 

‘Any updates?’ he asked.

 

‘From my parents?’

 

‘Mmm,’

 

Genesis scoffed. ‘You could say that. They’re cutting me off,’

 

Angeal paused, aghast, until Genesis rolled his shoulders to remind him of his task. ‘Cutting you off? Completely?’

 

‘Oh, yes. You should’ve heard how excited they were,’ Genesis said, not quite petulantly enough to disguise the hint of hurt in his voice. ‘it was like Christmas come early for them, I’m sure. They’ve had this in the works for a long time,’

 

‘What did they say?’ Angeal frowned. He applied more pressure to Gen’s shoulders when he felt how tight the knots were, and how deeply rooted. For a moment his thoughts strayed to how  _ pleasant _ it would be to do this without the jumper in the way…

 

‘That I’m a big boy and I can manage all by myself. I told them that’s hardly the point, but I was already speaking to a closed door by then,’

 

‘You will manage, I know that much,’

 

‘No thanks to them,’

 

Horribly, it made a certain sort of sense to Angeal. Genesis had never felt the connection with his parents that he enjoyed with his mother, and had spent a large portion of his adult life trying to coax some semblance of affection from them, only to be greeted with consternation and a reminder that those bridges were long since burned. Genesis regretted the things he’d done in yesteryears, it was plain to Angeal, always had been - but now… he couldn’t imagine how deep this new cut went.

 

‘I’m so sorry, Gen,’

 

‘No, don’t be,’ Genesis huffed. ‘it’s actually something of a relief - they can’t throw their money back in my face, now,’

 

Calling it a  _ relief _ might have been overstating things, but Angeal understood. He leant forward to press a chaste kiss to the nape of Gen’s neck.

 

‘I’m here for you,’

 

‘Which is why you left me to wake up alone? The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was Sephiroth holding a pillow over his dick ‘cause of a topaz stone,’ Genesis teased… or, God, Angeal hoped he was teasing. He smiled until Gen turned and tapped his thigh. All of Angeal’s feeling was suddenly concentrated there, then, like a sweeping spotlight, holding him together entirely. ‘but you didn’t answer him, Zack, I mean,’

 

_ What…? _

 

Angeal felt himself flush. ‘You… I thought you were-’ he spluttered. He took his hands from Gen’s shoulders now the fuzzy feeling was coming again.  _ Did he hear everything else? _ The thought made him dizzy.

 

‘Asleep, yes, I know,’ Genesis said, breezily. ‘I could hardly spring up like a daisy,’

 

‘I… oh.’

 

‘Besides,’ Genesis said, lowering his voice. He twisted out of Angeal’s grip and turned, kneeling between his legs and looking him straight in the eye. Angeal made out the sharpness of Gen’s smile; a curious tug of his lips. ‘I wanted to know,’

 

‘Know what?’ Angeal whispered. But they both knew. Gen’s words had ignited ashes into embers, and Angeal felt a familiar hollow spot in his chest surge with want of filling - but it was all imagination, wasn’t it? Genesis had always been mercurial, always asked one too many questions.  _ Don’t let yourself read into this... _

 

Genesis rolled his eyes and stood, offering a hand to Angeal and hauling him to his feet when he accepted it. ‘Just what on earth have you been drinking tonight?’

 

Angeal glanced away, blushing. ‘Water,’

 

‘Water,’ Genesis echoed in a small voice. Any other night and Angeal would’ve put it down to teasing, but now, tonight, he couldn’t quite place the inflection. Angeal kept his eyes averted ‘til he felt hands on his chest, toying with the collars of his shirt. ‘Ange, do you want to go home?’

 

‘Home?’ Angeal whispered, meeting Gen’s eyes in his confusion.

 

Genesis nodded, and no more was said to clarify.  _ It’s not what you think,  _ Angeal told himself, but then why was Gen’s smile gone, replaced with something almost determined, a look that wasn’t a frown, no, but an offer extended in subtlety. If only he knew how many times Angeal had dreamed of him whispering something similar to him - not in Zack’s bathroom, but perhaps after a date, where they’d return to a warm house and a warm bed, together…

 

‘There he goes again,’ Genesis said under his breath, and gave Angeal’s collar a tug. ‘what  _ is _ it? Why do you look as though you’re a million miles away whenever I talk to you, recently?’

 

_ Recently. _ Angeal exhaled. His break in the country with his mother was an annual tradition for them, but what was it about absence and hearts…

 

Angeal shook his head. Genesis huffed and reached up on his toes, all the better to close the distance between them, and despite the firm arch of his brows and the hard line in his voice, Angeal felt his heart skip a beat, hopelessly lost to this little whirlwind of a man.

 

‘For the love of-’ Genesis whispered, cupping Angeal’s face and enforcing their gaze. ‘If it’s  _ me _ then just say! If I’ve done something to ups- _ hm _ ,’

 

The embers sparked, and lapped into flames.

 

Angeal kissed him hard. Other answers wouldn’t have been enough; words could only say so much and he didn’t have all that much skill with them in the first place. He slipped his arms around Genesis’ middle and held him tight. Sparks crashed and collided behind his eyes, screwed shut, and Genesis clung to the front of his shirt, melting against him into the kiss just as Angeal had been about to pull back.

 

‘I wasn’t finished, you know,’ Gen whispered, breathless and ragged. Angeal knew. He backed him against the bathroom door and smoothed his hands along the curve of his hips, leaning in close to capture him again. Genesis gasped, and arched his body flush to Angeal’s.

 

Fingers pushed roughly into his hair and Angeal deepened the kiss with a growl. His heart thudded, beating ten to the dozen, too quick to think. All that mattered was that Genesis,  _ his _ Genesis, was kissing him...

 

And a nimble hand was at work, too. Genesis worked on the buttons of Angeal’s shirt, unfastening them with unsurprising ease. It was all Angeal could do to  _ not _ press him harder against the door, to feel all of his body close and hear that pretty voice gasp again, drawing the syllables of his name out to a sigh of pleasure. Genesis mumbled something, and Angeal broke their kiss to shuck his shirt.

 

The breath of cold on his back was a pleasant contrast to the warmth he felt everywhere else. Genesis looked him over, chest heaving, then urged Angeal back down to meet him in a new kiss, just as fierce as the last.

 

Even on Angeal’s loneliest nights he’d never dared to imagine this; Gen’s hands slipped from his shoulders down his chest, palms flat, tracing his collarbone. Angeal licked into Gen’s mouth and drew a shivering  _ gasp  _ from him, and heard him loose a sigh of his own when Genesis cupped his pecs.

 

_ He’s so sensitive _ , Angeal marvelled to himself in a haze, pressing his thumbs into the hollow of his hips and enjoying the way Gen practically purred as he kissed him deep. He lavished in it, until Genesis plucked at his nipple and sent him reeling. Angeal felt him smile against his lips. He reached behind for a good handful of Gen’s ass, and got his reward.

 

‘Ange…’

 

Angeal offered a silent prayer of thanks for leggings being a thing and for Genesis’ aversion to jeans; there was plenty to grab, and Angeal gave a firm squeeze, feeling Gen react with a shiver, dragging his nails down his chest.

 

Whilst Angeal commited the feel of Gen’s plush ass to memory, laving him with kisses that kept him pinned and pliant, he sensed a certain distraction on Genesis’ behalf after a time. It was only when a hand accidentally brushed his erection that he looked between their bodies. Genesis, one-handedly, was trying to prise down his waistband.

 

Never one for patience, he cursed and took Angeal’s hand in his own and into his leggings. ‘ _ Please _ ,’ he whispered, so stripped of his usual pomp and sarcasm that Angeal paused for a moment.

 

Genesis rolled his hips and slipped his tongue back into Angeal’s mouth - effectively removing any doubt on his behalf.

 

Groaning, Angeal took advantage of the situation, and once Genesis had removed his hand to ply it back over his pectorals, he took Gen’s ass again and kneaded him gently. Genesis reached up on his toes to bring their bodies into closer contact, and when their hips met, it was very nearly too much. Angeal bit back a moan; Gen was hot and hard against his thigh, and laughed,  _ gone _ with pleasure when Angeal ground against him, using the door to leverage their cocks together.

 

He’d always had a suspicion Genesis would be a loud lover. Now he knew. Gen let his head fall back against the door - each roll of their hips brought a low moan out of him.

 

‘Shh, they’ll… someone will...’ Angeal started to whisper, but words were clumsy.

 

‘I’ve,  _ ah _ ,’ Gen stammered, spreading his legs a little when Angeal spayed his fingers. ‘I’ve waited too long to be quie-’ He grabbed suddenly at Angeal’s shoulder when his finger teased between his cheeks, through the soft cotton of his underwear. ‘that was hardly fair!’

 

_ He’s waited? _ Angeal spared it a moment of fractured thought whilst he worked his hands out of Gen’s leggings. He smiled when he pouted, prissy and pretty, watching him closely as he slipped back in, but beneath his underwear, this time, skin on skin. Genesis closed his eyes and melted all over again.  _ Maybe this is fairer, then _ , Angeal thought to himself, smiling still, and holding himself steady on the door whilst his other hand took a full grasp, then toyed low between Gen’s legs with a single finger.

 

‘Angeal…’

 

Genesis dropped his hands to Angeal’s belt. The intention went through him like a bolt, and Angeal murmured Gen’s name against his neck as he bent to kiss him there, behind his jaw where the skin was smooth and warm.

 

Just one click, a long  _ zip _ , and Angeal groaned when Genesis got a palm over his cock. He was straining hard, caught in the moment and hazy hopes for the future - a dream of doing this again but in a bed, with more light, and a lazy smile curling Gen’s lips as he pushed into him-

 

Genesis curled his fingers, reducing Angeal to a single minded state of aching. He mouthed at his neck and bucked his hips, then felt, rather than heard, Gen laugh.

 

‘Here’s one of your worst kept secrets, Hewley, right here,’

 

Genesis hummed. He flicked a thumb over the head of his cloaked erection - knowing full well the beast it would rouse - and the second of silence lingered between them before breaking like a wave on the shore. Angeal growled, low in his throat, and gathered Gen up for a bruising kiss.

 

His focus slipped when Genesis freed his cock from his boxers. He stroked him once, languidly, and matched the moan he tore from Angeal.

 

‘You never disappoint, do you?’ he whispered, dragging a fingertip along the underside of Angeal’s cock. Angeal felt a telling lurch in the hot places between his legs, and bit sloppily at Genesis’ bottom lip, hoping to convey something… anything. Gen met him in a likewise muddled kiss.

 

The knock on the door startled them both.

 

Angeal pulled away a fraction, craning to hear over the heartbeat in his ears and Gen’s rough breathing.

 

‘Angeal, are you in there?’

 

He held his breath and felt the first electric pangs of  _ panic _ . He wouldn’t have been surprised if Sephiroth could hear his hammering heart through the door. Genesis let out a tapered sigh, letting go of Angeal’s cock to find his chest, but the touch was enough to spur Angeal to nip again at his lip.

 

‘Hello?’ Sephiroth knocked again.

 

Angeal broke away from Genesis, who held his stare as he moved back. ‘I… yes, I’m here,’ he called.

 

‘We need you in the sitting room. Zack’s blond friend got into the liquor and now he’s turning green.’

 

There were spots dancing in front of Angeal’s eyes. ‘And you need me for this why?’ he frowned. Genesis reached to cup his cheek, his eyes lowered, roaming his face with a tenderness Angeal didn’t have the time to fret about. He held his eyes closed for a moment.

 

And Genesis was smiling, softly, when he opened them again. Angeal returned it shakily.

 

‘You’re the only one with health and safety training,’ Sephiroth replied, in that monotone of his.

 

_ Fuck! _

 

‘Alright, just- uh, give me a minute,’

 

Sephiroth made an affirmative noise, then piped up again. ‘Genesis, you might as well come and make yourself useful, too,’

 

‘Noted.’ Gen called back, dully.

 

Sephiroth retreated from the door, then, and Angeal stood wondering hazily if there was anything in the world he wanted  _ less _ than to go and answer a hundred questions about where he’d been. He peeled away from Genesis to tuck himself away and fasten his pants.

 

_ I should say something _ . The air in the room had changed, chilled, and only the dark spared Angeal from meeting the expectant stare he knew was piercing a hole in his back.

 

_ You started this _ , he chastised himself. His hands were shaking.  _ You took his concern and made it about your own infatuation - he was just worried about you, and now, look _ . Angeal zipped up his fly and winced at the sound. He was surprised to see Genesis holding his shirt out for him when he turned, and took it with a murmur of thanks. Genesis tidied himself, too, and Angeal fastened his buttons with ever shortening breaths.

 

A lifetime had passed in the space of a minute. It wasn’t a hot flame that stilled his breath, now, but rather a cold grip inside of him, chasing out the warmth.

 

Angeal ran a hand through his hair. ‘We’d, ah, best see to whatever they’ve gotten themselves into out there,’ he said, quietly.

 

Genesis ignored him and came close. Angeal faltered - usually he’d clap Gen on the shoulder without a second thought, but now that his hands had known the warmer climes and softer curves of his body, he didn’t trust himself not to seek them out again. Still, Genesis searched for his eyes and looked up to him with…  _ no, not hope, stop projecting. _

 

‘Ange?’ he whispered, smiling just a little. Angeal could see he was nervous, too, but he didn’t know how to soothe Gen without doing what he’d already done too much of tonight; making things exponentially, horribly worse.

  
Angeal berated himself again, and with a knife-twist in his stomach and a pained exhale, he turned away to unlock the door and pass through. He didn’t see the way Genesis fell back to the flats of his feet or how his shoulders slumped - he didn’t see anything in his haste to  _ leave _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> steeples fingers......
> 
> im sorry i didnt update forever there! life sux at the moment and is making writing a little difficult, but... i hope you enjoy this........ very 0 to 100 chapter
> 
>  
> 
> P.S genesis goes and sits with elena and cis afterwards and they watch TLC together to make him feel better.


	3. Chapter 3

Even the smokers were heading inside, now. They put out their cigarettes and slipped into Gen’s backstreet theatre, rubbing their hands together. Angeal was keen to follow. The show would start in five minutes or so, and Genesis had to be onstage doing the introductions, well,  _ now _ , ideally.

 

As it was, he had his back turned and his phone to his ear.

 

‘-how about instead of biting my head off you try and-,  _ no _ ! No, I’m trying to,  _ father _ !’

 

Angeal stood torn between the allure of the door and, as always,  _ Genesis _ . The streets were sugar dusted with a fresh snowfall that turned the night’s air brisk and sharp, and Genesis breathed out little plumes of shivery steam. He’d pushed back his hair for the evening, and looked so perfectly prettied up in his coat and scarf that Angeal almost forgot how deathly awkward things were between them.

 

They’d barely gotten through a conversation together since the “incident” at Zack’s party. Angeal would taper off when he spoke, not wanting to press on a bruise, and Genesis would bristle and turn away...

 

‘Is that a threat?’ he hissed, now. Angeal could almost make out Mr. Rhapsodos’ dulcet tones on the other end of the line. He’d heard the man raise his voice before in person once, but once had been quite enough. ‘No? They’re beyond working, anyway. Fine! Do it! 

 

Genesis’ breath caught, and Angeal felt it, too. The poets were waiting, and Genesis would need a minute or two before going on stage - but how to tell him? The gulf between them had expanded too far.

 

It was as though he’d forgotten how to handle Genesis. Strange, really, considering how much he’d learned that night - how Gen liked to kiss and be kissed, how he’d sighed and been so warm to touch…

 

Angeal cursed under his breath.

 

‘I don’t care. Keep the money aside for your fucking funeral!’ Genesis snapped and ended the call, curling his fingers tight around the phone for a moment before pressing it to his temple. ‘ _ Fuck _ !’

 

The wind whistled down the street. Across the road a bar was bright with muffled music, and only a few cars came by if any did at all; it was as quiet as the city was ever likely to get at night, but it didn’t soothe Angeal now as it might have done a week ago. He reached out a hand to Genesis, who turned and saw it, staring wordlessly, furious.

 

‘Genesis-’

 

‘Don’t start,’ he glowered.

 

Angeal withdrew his offer. ‘I… alright, I won’t.’

 

Gen turned his face to the wind and looked skywards where the space between the buildings was velvety dark and clear. Angeal looked too for a moment, but couldn’t keep his eyes from the way Genesis seethed with pain. His oldest friend and other half; Angeal came to his side.

 

It was easy to imagine sweeping him into a hug, full of feeling, bypassing the need to muddle around with words…

 

‘What happened?’’

 

‘My parents. They’re not going to pay for my apartment anymore,’ Genesis replied, quietly.

 

‘Oh.’

 

‘Not that I care. I can afford it on my own, I think, it’s… just,’ Genesis shook his head and shrugged, avoiding Angeal’s stare as he pocketed his phone. There were no tears in his eyes, but his breath came shallowly and quick, bringing a blush to his cheeks that even the dark couldn’t stifle. ‘I think this is the end between me and them.’

 

‘I… I’m sorry, Gen,’ said Angeal - but he understood. Money had never been a substitute for love in Genesis’ eyes. They’d been two sides of the same coin growing up; Genesis with a vast and empty house to wander, and Angeal who slept in the sitting room most nights, but laughed with his mother most days. ‘We should-’

 

‘Don’t.’

 

Time was ticking on but Genesis sidestepped away, further from the door of his theatre.

 

‘I only wanted to…’ Angeal started, expecting to be interrupted and faltering when he wasn’t. Genesis’ eyes flared when they finally met his; he was the only shock of colour in the dark, a ribbon of red against the static backdrop.

 

‘What? You can’t even finish that sentence, can you? And don’t say  _ help _ ,’ he said, with a dismissive flick of a hand. ‘what you consider  _ help _ doesn’t make sense to me, anymore,’

 

Angeal gaped; Genesis was right, of course, but his own anxiety was mounting now.  _ Everyone’s going to be wondering what the holdup is _ …

 

‘I know you’re upset, Gen,’

 

‘So you  _ can _ read me, somewhat? You understand what I’m feeling?’

 

Angeal raised a brow. ‘It’s a little obvious. Come on, you had to be inside five minutes ago,’

 

‘They’ll wait,’

 

‘Only because you’re making them,’ Angeal tried, with a smile he didn’t entirely feel. ‘come inside, once you’re warm you’ll feel better,’

 

Genesis scoffed. ‘How’s that going to happen?’

 

‘I…’

 

‘Exactly.’ he turned his back.

 

‘Genesis-’

 

‘Let’s not pretend either of us understand what you’re trying to do. If you’re so concerned about your ass finding a seat then go and find it, you don’t need me to hold your hand,’

 

It would’ve stung if Gen wasn’t rapidly losing his fire - it was in the slumped set of his shoulders. Angeal shook his head. ‘You can’t expect me to leave you here like this.’

 

Even as he said it, even before Genesis let out a biting bark of false laughter, Angeal remembered when he’d fumbled with the door in Zack’s bathroom, desperate to escape.

 

_ Shit. _

 

‘Maybe you should!’ Genesis said, then lowered his voice. ‘Consider that this might be a delicate situation to which you’re a hammer. I need…’ he started, then sighed and glanced around. ‘I don’t know. I don’t know! The ground under my feet is barely stable enough to stand on as it is and I don’t understand why you’re suddenly a stranger!’ Gen bit his lip. Angeal felt a lurch. ‘Whatever the reason is, it’s  _ unfair _ , Angeal,’

 

‘I know.’

 

‘I don’t understand what I’ve done!’ Gen gestured between the two of them, ‘Not to you, anyway,’

 

‘You haven’t done anything, that’s… no, don’t think that,’

 

‘But you won’t say more?’

 

_ Here?  _ Angeal could feel his heart in his ears. There wasn’t a neat answer to that, and no easy way to explain, especially not when time was so tight. A crowd was waiting and their friends would be wondering now, too.  _ Especially Sephiroth. _ Angeal rubbed at his jaw and shook his head; Gen deserved to know, but not via a half-garbled explanation in the dark and cold.

 

‘Another time, I promi-’

 

Genesis scowled and paced away.

 

‘Just…  _ go _ , please,’

 

Genesis had never turned away from him like this before - never seriously, never so finally. Angeal only thought of reaching for him again; if  _ sorry _ was the only word he could muster then so be it, he’d whisper it against his red crown and hold him near for as long as he liked… but, no. It wouldn’t happen that way tonight, and the damage was already done and dire enough. Angeal did as he was told, lowering his head and moving with numb legs. He didn’t notice the warmth when he went through the Minerva Theatre doors, nor the plush carpet underfoot or the excitement of the last stragglers heading for their seats, too.

 

He went from the lobby to the aisles, looking for Sephiroth rather than fishing out his ticket and figuring out the seat rows and letters. Angeal made his way through, apologising when people stood for him, shuffling along and feeling decidedly sick.

 

‘Hey, big guy!’ Zack called when he spotted him. He had a programme rolled up in his hands and a smile that made everything feel a hundred times worse; Angeal tried to return it.

 

‘Hello, Zack,’

 

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes when Angeal took the seat beside him.

 

‘Something’s wrong,’

 

‘Yup.’ Angeal said, flatly.

 

‘Wait, what is it?’ Zack pressed, leaning forward to glance across Sephiroth. Angeal shook his head. The show wouldn’t start without Genesis, but he wished the lights would dim anyway and plunge everyone into a dark with silence to follow.  _ No reason to talk, then _ . Zack pointed with his tube. Sephiroth gently nudged it away. ‘Is it Gen?’

 

‘Isn’t it always?’ Sephiroth muttered.

 

‘It… yeah,’ Angeal said.

 

‘Oh, huh,’ Zack itched at his nose. ‘we thought you two might be, y’know,’ he gestured with the programme, and Sephiroth followed its movement with lidded eyes. ‘making ou-,  _ up _ , making up.’

 

Angeal caught a flash of a memory and closed his eyes for a second. ‘No. Genesis is… having some personal troubles,’

 

‘Isn’t he always?’ Sephiroth added, again.

 

‘You might try empathy tonight, Sephiroth,’ Angeal warned with a glance.

 

Sephiroth was utterly unphased. ‘Why, what did you do?’

 

Zack gawped when, once again, Angeal couldn’t find the words to dispute the notion. He looked to the stage where a lonely microphone stood waiting in front of a plush curtain. The crowd seemed content to chat amongst themselves for the time being, but the hubbub set Angeal’s nerves on edge, like an itch he couldn’t scratch.

 

‘It’s not important right now. Try to smile, maybe,’

 

‘It’s nothing serious between you, right? You and Gen? You’ll be okay?’ Zack asked.

 

It was an awful lot of questions.

 

‘We will be.’

 

‘Give him time to burn off the worst of his temper,’ said Sephiroth, seeming to agree.

 

‘Alright, if you say so. He’s five-seven of like, angry  _ bees _ , ain’t he?’

 

Angeal spared Zack a half-smile - he really did mean well, after all. He settled back into his seat (leaving his coat and scarf on), and heard the crowd hush. Footsteps went lightly over the stage, a shadow passed, and Angeal saw Genesis, backlit by a dozen white lights and a spotlight. He cleared his throat and in an instant the crowd was hooked on him - it was his house, after all.

 

He smiled. Angeal almost returned it, reflexively.

 

‘Sorry about the delay - give me a week and I’ll have made a poem out of it,’ he said, flashing another smile. The crowd laughed politely. Genesis adjusted the mic and seemed to scan the faces as he spoke. ‘Still, let’s not waste any more time. A few of you might recognise our first performer, she’s a local-’ Angeal felt a knock on his boot and looked up to see Sephiroth giving him the eye. He raised a brow, a silent question. ‘-a hand for Miss Gainsborough,’

 

_ You’ll be alright _ , Sephiroth mouthed, even as he joined in with the applause.

 

Angeal looked away. The spotlights had shifted from Genesis to a young blossom of a girl stepping out from behind the curtain, so he scampered down the steps and into the crowd to find his seat with the others. He stopped mid-stride when he saw Angeal… then took the empty seat next to Zack.

 

The girl on stage had a voice as soft as a dove and as clear as a bell, but Angeal could barely hear her over the static in his head.

 

With the same forbidding ache as a persistent toothache, he felt the space between them more keenly than ever.

 

*                     *                     *

 

‘What’s your middle name, Ange?’

 

‘I don’t have one,’

 

‘Oh, huh. Figured your Mum mighta like, given you a  _ who’s your Dad _ clue or… uh, y’know,’

 

Angeal gave Zack a pointed look. ‘Who’s your emergency contact?’

 

‘I’ll give you three guesses,’ said Genesis, slumped sideways (all legs) across the only chair in the corner of the curtained-off cubicle.

 

Zack grinned sheepishly. ‘You,’

 

Genesis gestured.

 

‘Oh,’ Angeal blinked, then filled in the form accordingly.

 

Angeal hadn’t seen twenty-to-four in the morning since he was a teenager, and being awake now, in his thirties, really emphasised the whole  _ getting older _ thing.

 

Half an hour ago Genesis had called.  _ “Morning,” _ he’d said, dryly.  _ “Zack’s given himself an impromptu amputation. You’d better come meet us - your puppy needs you. _ ”

 

Angeal had raced to the A&E department to find that, fortunately, Zack still had all his limbs, though the gash across his palm was serious enough to warrant stitches. Angeal couldn’t say which Zack had hated more - the needles or the telling off he’d given him.

 

Zack peered down at the form from his perch on the examination table. He was in his pyjamas still, though he’d managed to throw on his boots and a beanie.

 

‘Fancy signature,’ he said.

 

‘Yes, well, yours is required, too,’

 

‘But I’m incapacitated!’

 

‘And right-handed,’ Angeal smirked, pushing the clipboard into Zack’s grudging grasp.

 

‘Alright, alright,’ he glanced sidelong. ‘sorry for giving you a scare, Ange,’

 

‘You really did. I’m glad the two of you are mostly in one piece, though,’

 

Genesis scoffed. He wore a familiar hoodie two sizes too big for him and loose pants, reading a leaflet he’d pulled from the nearby rack called  _ Antidepressants and You! _

 

Another rush of guilt caught Angeal off-guard. He recalled a room similar to this one, smaller, though, and in a doctor’s surgery, not a hospital. Genesis had been…  _ what _ ,seventeen when he’d begged Angeal to go with him to his appointment?  _ My parents can’t know _ , he’d said, turning those blue-green eyes up at him, more a puppy then than he was now,  _ they’ll just turf me over to a therapist, and I don’t want to give them the satisfaction of thinking they’re helping _ .

 

Now, a decade on, Genesis was still as boyish and pretty, still just as quick to act and leave folks in his wake, reeling.

 

_ Does he feel better? _

 

Angeal looked back to Zack, who’d been watching him with a peculiar expression.

 

‘Take this as a warning. Do your washing more promptly and put away your cutlery as soon as you’ve dried it,’ he said, keeping his voice level and low - he’d done enough lecturing for the day.

 

‘Kind of a harsh lesson, don’t ya think?’ Zack smirked.

 

‘Well, you won’t be doing this again, will you?’

 

‘Hell no, it stings like a bitch. But it’s not like I did it on purpose!’

 

Angeal gave Zack a sympathetic smile, wondering still what he and Genesis had been talking about so late into the night. Apparently, the two ordered in some food, drank whatever was leftover from the party, then Zack had slipped in the kitchen and tried to clutch the countertop for balance… and found a loose knife, instead. Genesis was remarkably calm, considering, but Angeal knew Gen didn’t ball up the way he had for nothing.

 

‘Better a sting than something worse. I thought you might be half-dead,’

 

‘Oh, nah,’

 

‘ _ Nah _ ?’ Angeal echoed, cowing Zack with a frown.

 

‘Aw, c’mon! You know I’m sorry. You got a lot on your plate and I get that,’

 

Angeal glanced again at Genesis, who was reading the back of the leaflet now, holding it daintily between his forefinger and thumb.

 

Zack followed Angeal’s attention again, and, horribly, seemed to notice the leaflet’s title, too. ‘Feeling blue, Gen?’

 

Angeal’s heart stopped. Genesis looked up, slowly, considering Zack’s question with a little frown. Eventually, he shrugged.

 

‘More red than blue,’

 

‘Yeah, they’ve got cream for that,’

 

Genesis scoffed. ‘Forgive me if I don’t take the advice of a man who almost sautéed his own fingers,’

 

‘ _ Almost _ is the important word there, Genny,’ Zack grinned, and it only brightened when Genesis balked at the nickname. The three of them stared when his phone began to buzz, however, and Zack swore, setting down the clipboard and fumbling in the pocket of his jacket.

 

‘You’re supposed to turn that off,’ Angeal admonished.

 

Zack already had the phone in his hand. ‘Oh, shit,’

 

‘Is it a girl?’ Genesis narrowed his eyes.

 

‘No!’

 

‘Oh, God. It’s her, isn’t it?’

 

‘This early in the morning?’ Zack tilted his head, wolfishly. ‘Besides, you only got yourself to blame for that, buddy. Not my fault if she can’t resist all of this,’

 

Angeal was utterly lost, and Genesis rolled his eyes.

 

‘Yes, remind me not to introduce you to anymore ladies until you’ve been to the vet,’

 

‘Dude, it’s just Cloud.’ Zack laughed. Angeal got the distinct feeling he was already eavesdropping on something not meant for him, so he turned away a little more, not willing to leave entirely. Zack answered the call with a hushed: ‘Hey. No, no, I’m okay,’

 

‘Let me talk to him,’ demanded Genesis, outstretched hand and all.

 

Zack covered the receiver. ‘Yeah,  _ no _ .’

 

‘I can explain all this far more adeptly. Pass it here,’

 

Zack pouted and shook his head, going back to the call. ‘You there? Yeah, I’m with Gen and Ange. Uh,’ Zack looked at them, one to the other. ‘I mean, kinda? It’s like four in the morning though. Hey, did you see that DM I sent? Yeah? So what you think? Think I gotta chance?’

 

Genesis shook his head. ‘Clueless,’ he mumbled.

 

Angeal shifted, awkwardly. If  _ Zack _ was clueless, he didn’t want to know what it made him.

 

Realising his part in the conversation was finished, Genesis looked back to the leaflet, and for a moment Angeal thought he would begin reading it all over again, but Gen had never been so patient. He met Angeal’s eyes and seemed to consider him, somehow.

 

Angeal knew he should probably look away…

 

He was held in place, feeling awfully distant from the man he’d grown up with. They were so… out of sync, these days.  _ Not that I have anyone else to blame for that _ , Angeal reminded himself, but then Genesis was standing.

 

He still had the leaflet when he came over. An apology burned in Angeal’s throat, but he knew if he tried to speak it’d all turn to ash, bitter to taste and utterly without use. Zack was whispering to Cloud, and Genesis… was waiting.

 

It was the night outside the Minerva all over again.

 

‘You know,’ Angeal started, carefully. ‘my mother, she… has,’ he nodded to the paper in Gen’s hand.

 

And Gen didn’t prickle like Angeal thought he might. He barely even reacted, not a glower or a glare, only a slight raise of his brows. ‘Ah,’

 

‘It’s shitty,’

 

_ That _ did the trick. Angeal saw the flame catch in Genesis’ eyes. ‘Is it?’ he asked, quiet and cold.

 

All the confusion and consternation that had come between them threatened to overwhelm again. Angeal felt it choking his breath and knew Genesis was still burning, on the same precipice, ready to set it all alight. But he didn’t. Instead, he heaved a sigh and turned an apologetic eye to him from under his mussed up bangs.

 

Feeling thoroughly undeserving, Angeal stared.

 

‘It  _ is _ shitty, for the record,’ Genesis mumbled.

 

Angeal nodded. ‘Yeah,’

 

They looked to one another for a while as strangers. Genesis had left Angeal speechless before, but never like this and never for so long - it wasn’t a joyful loss for words so much as an entropic gulf, turning bone to metal, heartbeats to hollow drums. It was horrible and  _ new _ and Angeal was struck suddenly with how much he detested it. Panicking, he reached for Genesis’ hand, holding it tight and bowing his head.

 

Genesis didn’t wrench away.

 

‘-shit, someone’s coming. I better go, Cloudy,’

 

The cubicle curtain whipped open just as Zack stuffed his phone back in his pocket (easier said than done with only one working hand), and a nurse peered round, eyeing the three of them. Genesis turned, drawn by the commotion, but Angeal stayed downcast, not ready to sever this moment.

 

He squeezed Gen’s hand, and felt the slightest twitch of his fingers in return…

 

‘Alright, Mr. Fair, how’s that form coming along?’

 

‘It’s all done, ma’am,’ Zack grinned.

 

The nurse picked up the clipboard and read it through, nodding. She secured the pen under the clip after adding her own signature to the bottom, then smiled. ‘You should be able to leave with your guardians soon,’

 

Genesis was looking at him when Angeal lifted his head at last.

 

‘Quit that,’ he whispered.

 

Angeal didn’t know what it was he should be quitting. He offered Gen a shaky smile instead, which he didn’t return, but there was something akin to concern in his eyes.

  
  
  
  


Back on the table, Zack saw the look Gen and Ange were sharing and the way their hands were clasped - he figured he could probably try juggling with another knife and they wouldn’t have noticed. With a roll of his eyes and a hopeful smile, he nodded.

 

‘Thanks, hon,’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!! the next chapters are going to be more.............. fluffy,,, i promise ... B)
> 
> also happy new year and happy holidays for the folks celebrating! i've been blessed with some extra free time, so if you have any prompt requests or whatnot,, come throw them at me @ nightrunning.tumblr.com!


	4. Chapter 4

In his defense, Angeal had thought Zack would have a good time.

 

It was as sunny a day as could be hoped for when the two of them managed to get time off together; Angeal met Zack outside his apartment complex and they jogged around the block into the public park, past the lake and up the bank.

 

But Zack was lagging behind only half an hour later. He tried his best to hide it with a determined furrow in his brow and misted-over look in his eyes - Angeal heard him muttering under his breath. _“Gotta do this, I can do this!”_

 

And really, it _was_ only a brisk jog.

 

Personally, however, Angeal was having a harder time finding focus. There was an uncomfortable knot in his stomach that twinged when he looked sidelong at the others enjoying the sunshine, exercising, walking dogs, or lounging under the trees. It was picture perfect… and he felt completely out of place.

 

Angeal frowned and slowed until Zack caught him.

 

“Gee, thanks,” Zack pouted. “I was getting tired of watching your ass,”

 

“It’s the same pace I set at the start, Zack,’

 

‘Yeah, _the start_ being like two hours ago,’ Zack said, and a smirk cracked his faux-ruffled facade when Angeal made to correct his time-keeping. ‘look, it feels like two hours, okay?’

 

Angeal bit his tongue and slowed things down to what could only be described as a brisk walk. Zack drew himself up with a sigh and mopped at his brow, taking two steps for each one of Angeal’s.

 

‘You’ll have to get used to this sort of thing if you want to get into training professionally,’ Angeal said, despite knowing it’d do no good now that Zack’s heart was set. He felt he owed it to him to be honest, however - though the truth about the 5am starts could probably be saved for another day.

 

Zack nodded. ‘I get that. Sometimes I think I should get a job where I can _sit_ ,’

 

‘You’d hate that more than this,’ Angeal smiled. The sun was flickering through the tree branches as they went.

 

‘You don’t know how much I love to sit, Ange,’

 

Angeal raised a brow. That wasn’t true at all - he could remember with crystal clarity the night he’d invited Genesis and himself round to watch Titanic. Twenty minutes in and Zack had rearranged the cushions on the sofa so he could “watch from upside down”, an hour and he’d started going back and forth from the kitchen ferrying out every snack he could find.

 

Angeal clapped a hand on Zack’s shoulder and had to laugh at the look of unabashed hope he got in reply.

 

‘Are we done?’ Zack asked.

 

Honestly? They’d barely even started, but there was no point in pushing Zack out of his comfort zone today. Besides, Angeal thought, looking over Zack’s scruff of hair to where the grass was clipped short and speckled with daisies, it would be a shame to waste the day when they’d barely seen one another recently.

 

He nodded, Zack grinned, and Angeal felt another _prod_ to the ever present guilt in his middle.

 

 _Zack’s not trying to run from_ his _issues - he shouldn’t have to ask if he can stop._

 

‘You did well today,’ Angeal said. His voice sounded strange to his ears, hollow, almost. Zack smiled strangely, peering at him.

 

‘You don’t have to say that. I guess, I dunno, I thought it’d be easier than this. It’s just running, right?’

 

‘Not at all, but you’ll get the hang of it,’

 

‘Thanks, big guy.’

 

Angeal led them back towards the slope of a hill that overlooked the lake, where a copse of trees took the edge off the sun’s sting. He set down his jacket to sit on and Zack did the same, collapsing into a heap and stretching out his legs one at a time, sorely.

 

The breeze barely registered on Angeal’s skin, he watched without seeing, carding his fingers through the grass. Zack shifted.

 

‘-know how you do it, like, how do you make time to do this and everything else? The weights and stuff?’

 

Specks of light danced in front of Angeal’s eyes, even when he blinked and rubbed at the corners of them. Zack was giving him that look again.

 

‘Part of it’s just my job,’ he explained. ‘and a lot of it is discipline; you put in the time now to get the results you want tomorrow. It usually feels like a fair exchange.’

 

Zack made a thoughtful noise. ‘And the other part?’

 

‘It’s something to concentrate on.’

 

‘I get that,’

 

Angeal glanced away when Zack got that knowing look on his face again. Was he so easy to read? He looked instead at the new buds poking through the flowerbeds that ran alongside the park path. Red and yellow blooms ruffled by the breeze; there’d be all sorts of other colours and petals when summer hit its stride, but for now it felt as though he’d caught a glimpse of a half-finished theatre production.

 

He bit his lip. _Genesis_. Angeal saw him in his mind’s eye with his shadow cast large across a rippling curtain backdrop.

 

Maybe he should’ve carried on jogging. Thinking about the next ten paces was simple - there was a start and an end, it was easy, rewarding, and it ate up time he’d only otherwise spend like this. _Moping_ , Angeal thought, _when I should be talking to him_.

 

Whether Genesis would be ready to talk to _him_ , however, was another thing.

 

Angeal pressed his thumb to his lip, watching the sunlight shiver across the surface of the lake. _If he’s not ready or if he never wants to talk about it at all… I have to understand that, and accept it._

 

‘You’ve gone quiet,’ Zack said, then shifted his weight and smiled. ‘but I bet I can guess why.’

 

‘I’m sure you can,’ Angeal mumbled.

 

‘Still in the doghouse?’

 

Angeal laughed, grimly. No, it was never so clear cut with Genesis.

 

‘Or maybe not?’ Zack leant forward to catch Angeal’s eye. ‘I saw you guys holding hands at the hospital,’

 

Angeal glanced at him. Zack shrugged. He… hadn’t banked on him seeing that. Still, he smiled a little, thinking back to the evening. Gen’s hand in his had felt so much like the old times when they never had to worry _what does this mean_ or _is this too obvious?_ It’d been right. Angeal hummed, and cleared his throat when he saw that Zack was biting back a grin.

 

‘Yes, well, I think the stress of the evening might have had something to do with it,’

 

‘You’re welcome,’ he winked, then huddled closer. ‘do you wanna talk about it? I’m not just poking into your business, but, I mean, have you ever spoken to _anyone_?’

 

‘No,’ Angeal admitted. Who would he share it with if not Genesis? They’d had no secrets once, there had been no need to confide in anyone else.

 

‘I won’t tell anyone, Ange. Gen would have my balls for a purse,’

 

‘That’s true,’ Angeal agreed, dully. It was already a rule-breaking afternoon, wasn’t it? He couldn’t deny the urge to spill it all, either. It’d be messy at best and pitiful at worst, but it’d be out there, out of him, and someone else might just understand - and Angeal was glad that someone was Zack if it had to be anyone.

 

He took a breath and pressed his thumb to his lip a final time.

 

‘So, the night of your party,’

 

Zack bolted upright. ‘Oh my God, I knew it!’

 

Angeal stared.

 

Zack mimed zipping his mouth shut with a smirk, and Angeal sighed, clasping his hands in his lap and trying to think of what came next. It was a blur of shadows, Genesis’ voice and lips and… all the sourness that had happened later.

 

‘I went to the bathroom, remember? Genesis followed me after a while and we got to talking about you asked me, about me and him,’

 

‘Oh, shit,’ Zack winced.

 

‘Mmm. Well, he, ah, asked if it would be such a bad thing if we were mistaken for a couple, or something similar, and then-’

 

‘You guys kissed?’ Zack touched his fingertips together.

 

Angeal exhaled, then nodded.

 

‘And-’

 

‘There’s an _and_?’ Zack grinned.

 

‘ _And_ , that should have been the end of it but it wasn’t. I let myself get carried away.’

 

‘You both did from the sound of it,’

 

‘It’s not that simple.’

 

‘Isn’t it?’ Zack asked, gesturing. ‘Come on, he follows you up and starts the whole conversation, gets you thinking of the two of you together. That… actually, that might be your problem, y’know,’

 

‘What is?’

 

Zack didn’t answer for a moment. Something changed in his expression and mellowed, and when he met Angeal’s eyes again his smile wasn’t the familiar teasing smirk, but a softer smile… sympathetic. Angeal looked away.

 

‘How long have you been waiting to do this?’ Zack asked, and didn’t wait for Angeal to answer or even stop gawping. ‘Right! So, how’d you know he hasn’t been waiting just as long? You guys give in to everything you’ve both wanted and then _you_ ,’ Zack pointed. ‘freak out and take it away? C’mon, man, it’s obvious.’

 

‘Obvious,’ Angeal echoed, dumbfounded.

 

‘Obvious.’ Zack clapped. ‘You left afterwards, didn’t you?’

 

‘I couldn’t stay and-’

 

‘There you go! You left him in the lurch, Ange.’

 

It was as though he’d taken a blow to the gut - Angeal shivered, remembering Gen’s face that night, and… he had been smiling, hadn’t he? At first at least. Something shifted in him like a key turning in a lock, and suddenly Angeal was aware of the sun on the back of his neck and how uncomfortable his shirt felt.

 

‘Sound about right?’ Zack asked and swatted at Angeal’s shoulder.

 

Somehow, Zack had seen right into the heart of the issue, even if things had become tenfold more complicated in the meantime.

 

‘Yes,’ Angeal said, slowly. ‘but he came to check on me, not to do what we ended up doing,’

 

‘Did you guys… y’know?’

 

‘Not in your bathroom Zack, no.’

 

‘Only asking, big guy,’ Zack smirked. ‘And honestly, sometimes it does happen like that when things fall into place. It’s just… fate,’

 

Angeal couldn’t say if it was _fate_ exactly, but when he rewound the moment he found Zack’s words rang true. He remembered Genesis’ hands on his chest, in his trousers, and that look in his eyes - the one Angeal had dreamed about seeing for years now, decades, even. _And he’d started to say something about waiting too long to be quiet, hadn’t he?_

 

The remainder of the memory threatened to grow too vivid.

 

‘Thank you, Zack,’ Angeal rubbed at his jaw and gave a sheepish smile.

 

Zack brightened in an instant and rose to his feet with the agility of someone half Angeal’s age. He held out a hand. ‘Sure thing, it’s simple, right?’ he said, when Angeal took it. ‘Best friends or boyfriends, it’s just a case of sticking to one or the other, you know?’

 

Angeal swallowed. He did.

 

*                     *                     *

 

A passerby looked over his shoulder at Angeal as he went. Angeal didn’t want to know what he thought of him, lingering here outside the theatre after dark. He flexed his fingers at his side and closed his eyes, listening to the far-off traffic.

 

The street seemed cordoned off its its own bubble; Gen’s theatre was the only building of note, but slotted easily into place alongside the tattoo parlour, empty shops, and 24 hour convenience store further down the road. Genesis said it was all exactly how he liked it; indiscernible from the outside, remarkable on the inside.

 

He smoothed his jacket and took a deep breath. The theatre doors opened easily, and Angeal stepped into the light of the foyer.

 

Every step felt clumsy, the adrenaline in him tickled his fingertips and shortened his breath. But there was excitement too, to think if things went right that they could walk out of here-

 

 _Together?_ Angeal stopped himself. One thing at a time.

 

As he went Angeal heard the stirrings of a piano - was Genesis playing? He knew there was an old piano backstage and that sometimes it found its way under the spotlight, but Angeal’s heart thudded; would he be interrupting, or was he being summoned?

 

It didn’t matter that he didn’t recognise the tune. Genesis had a talent for pouring light into whatever he touched, music, poetry, people. Angeal went on through the corridor, through the door, and around the corner to the stage.

 

There was candlelight, he saw that first, and shadows flickering across the empty seats. Angeal stepped into it and lost his breath.

 

Genesis was sat in a half-slump at the piano, playing idly on a decorated stage. The candles winked inside glass holders on the piano-top, and the props came from a dream of an aristocrat’s household;a tall window, a candelabra that was almost polished to a shine, and curtains tied just-so to hide the moth eaten patches. Genesis lifted his eyes to watch Angeal approach.

 

‘Ange,’ he said, simply.

 

Angeal smiled with his heart in his ears and looked for a chair, fruitlessly.

 

_Standing, then. That’s alright._

 

Genesis watched him across the piano. The light gave his features a strange cast - sharpened by the shadows here and muted by the candles there. He seemed to glow.

 

‘Is this new?’ Angeal asked.

 

Genesis nodded and drew the song to a finish with a flourish. The final note rang out like the last chime of a bell, and the two of them looked to one another, still, more than aware of what could happen.

 

‘It is,’ Genesis said. ‘but it won’t make it to the stage, I’m afraid.’

 

‘Why not?’

 

Genesis almost smiled. _Don’t you know?_ Angeal had seen it in his eyes a hundred hundred times.

 

‘Not everything is meant for an audience. Sometimes art is more about sweeping away the cobwebs up here,’ he said and tapped his temple, then shrugged, lowering his eyes. ‘and because I don’t like it.’

 

‘Oh?’

 

‘I’m terribly picky.’

 

Angeal could understand that. He had the gym, Genesis had this. _A draughty room at the back of town._

 

‘So, I think I know why you’re here,’

 

Angeal hummed and shuffled his feet. He thought he’d known, too, but standing here… it was hard to linger on a thought. When was the last time they’d been alone like this with no pretenses?

 

Genesis sat up. ‘To talk.’

 

‘Yes,’

 

Genesis raised a brow and nodded slightly. He took in the jacket Angeal wore, the light scarf, the boots, and then he smiled a little though Angeal was burning up inside. Each moment stretched out to an unbearable length; there was too much to say and no easy way to do it. Angeal gaped, laughed sheepishly, terrified almost, and Genesis responded with a fond roll of his eyes.

 

‘Let’s cut to the quick, shall we? Or as close as we can get. I know what you’re like, Hewley,’

 

‘What I’m like?’

 

Genesis was on the knife’s edge of a smile again. ‘Once you get going, well, we could’ve sold tickets,’

 

Angeal laughed at that. It was true he wasn’t the most direct person, save for that one time in Zack’s bathroom, and look at the trouble that had landed him in. He unzipped his jacket and saw Genesis’ eyes follow, glossed over with a faraway gleam.

 

The smudges under his eyes were darker than Angeal remembered, though when Genesis caught him staring he frowned and glanced down at the keys, brushing his fingers across the tops of them without pressing.

 

‘I miss you, Angeal,’ he said, quietly.

 

Angeal stumbled forward to the piano. ‘I miss you too,’

 

‘Good, well, that was the easy part,’

 

‘And the hard part?’

 

‘Oh, everything else,’ Genesis said dryly. ‘like where to start with this person standing here who looks so much like my old lover,’

 

_Lover?_

 

Genesis sighed and looked away. There was a knot of tension in his brow and Angeal barely dared to breathe.

 

‘Let’s not fool one another, Ange.’

 

 _Best friends or boyfriends_. Zack would never know how right he was.

 

‘I’m me,’ Angeal said. _Yours_.

 

‘Be honest with me now,’

 

‘I am,’ Angeal pressed, a little breathless. ‘I’m… easy to figure out,’

 

‘Are you?’ Genesis narrowed his eyes again. ‘That’s why I’ve spent the better part of this month wondering, then?’

 

‘I have too, Genesis,’ Angeal admitted. The longer he was on his feet the more cumbersome he felt - Genesis peered over the piano-top, perched, but no more comfortable for being in his own theatre. Everything in the building had been brought in with his approval; the old curtains, the framed pictures on the wall, things that could be props or just as easily personal effects - disorganised to anyone who wasn’t Genesis, no doubt.

 

Genesis made a low noise, but nodded.

 

‘Have you been thinking about the-’ he faltered, bit his lip. “In Zack’s bathroom.’

 

 _Every day_ , Angeal didn’t say.

 

‘Because if you regret it then let’s put it out of its misery and move on,’

 

‘No, wait-’ Angeal set a hand on the piano and Genesis blinked up at him. The moment felt heavy in Angeal’s stomach, this was it, wasn’t it? He withdrew his hand to clasp the other. ‘I… I took advantage of you, Gen,’

 

Genesis’ mouth closed with a _click_.

 

‘Where are you- _what?_ ’

 

Angeal raked back his hair and glanced about, though only shadows winked at him from the far flung corners of the stage. _If he’s asking, does that mean he doesn’t feel as though I did?_

 

He didn’t dare to assume so - more likely he had only surprised Gen. When Angeal looked back to him there was no anger, he was too tired for that, but a hurt was there, just as Zack had intuited.

 

‘The night of the party,’ Angeal started. ‘you came to the bathroom to see how I was,’

 

Genesis nodded, frowning - _go on?_

 

Angeal gestured between them. ‘You didn’t come to… do what we ended up doing, what I started.’

 

‘And you know this for certain, do you?’

 

Another thud in his chest; Angeal held his breath. _Surely, yes?_

 

‘So, in all this time that’s passed, you’ve never once looked back and thought _oh, actually, he liked that as much as I did._ ’

 

‘That’s… I mean, it-’

 

‘Ange, look at me,’ Genesis said with a small smile. It brightened when Angeal met his eyes, and there was an expression on his face that took Angeal back through the years to when they’d been teenagers. Sunshiney summer days when they’d lain in the grass together, nights where Angeal would sneak into Genesis’ room, all of it was in his eyes now. ‘I wanted all of it.’

 

‘Genesis,’

 

‘So you’ll stop beating yourself up.’

 

‘I hurt you,’ Angeal stressed, plaintive.

 

‘Not a good start.’ Genesis teased, dryly, though his expression softened again when Angeal went to his knees at his side, taking his hands. ‘How could you doubt it?’ he whispered. ‘did it not feel like ten years of _God, at last_ come to a head?’

 

Angeal nodded. Gen’s hair was falling in his eyes again - always boyish no matter how old they got, he loved that about him.

 

He squeezed Genesis’ hands.

 

‘I didn’t want to trick you into something that didn’t happen… naturally,’

 

‘That’s not something you could do even if you tried, Hewley,’

 

‘And I didn’t want to hurt you,’ Angeal went on, watching the light flicker in Genesis’ eyes and the shadow of his lashes across his cheeks. Their fingers were twined now. ‘I didn’t want you to wake up the next morning wondering what the hell you’d done,’

 

Genesis let out a breath of laughter. ‘I _told_ you that I’d been waiting for it, Ange.’

 

‘I must have been distracted,’ Angeal winced.

 

‘Oh, just a touch.’ Genesis laughed. He slipped a hand free to trace Angeal’s jaw with the back of his thumb. “I’m glad you came tonight,’

 

‘Me too,’

 

He hadn’t been this close to Gen for days, weeks even. Not an eternity by any means, but Angeal was so used to measuring his day-to-day by what they did together…

 

 _And I almost let him slip away without a fight,_ he thought to himself, looking to Gen as he looked back. _I can’t remember what I was afraid of._

 

‘I’m sorry,’ Angeal bowed his head.

 

Genesis hummed and leaned forward to tuck a lock of his hair behind his ear.

 

‘There you go again. You call me stubborn but here you are flagellating yourself after I tell you not to,’

 

Angeal’s first impulse was to insist that it was warranted - there was plenty to apologise for, after all, but that wasn’t the point. He had to trust and listen or else find himself here again further down the line, the gulf a little wider, the hurts a little deeper.

 

‘Alright, I follow.’

 

‘Good, because--well, listen,’ Genesis started, sliding off the stool and pushing it away to settle on his knees, too. Angeal’s heart thumped again. Genesis gathered Angeal’s hands in his and pressed his thumbs into his palms, eyes fixed, lips slightly parted. ‘I won’t be a fling, Angeal. Let’s go back if we can’t go forward - I need all of you, completely, and I know it’s the same for you.’

 

Angeal’s breath caught. How to say that Genesis already had all of him, that he’d had him since… since as long as he could remember?

 

But he understood. The theatre, the props, the candles and shadows faded - everything that wasn’t _Genesis_ faded.

 

‘Tell me you understand,’ Genesis pressed.

 

‘I do,’

 

‘So… I-’ Gen stopped, bit his lip again. Angeal held himself in place though every part of him burned to kiss him. This had to be sealed in words, though, he knew that. ‘if this is too much or too bizarre tell me, Ange, and we can walk out of here with it behind us,’

 

‘I don’t want that,’

 

Genesis’ expression was impossible to read, was he holding his breath?

 

Angeal came closer.

 

‘And what you want _is_?’ Genesis asked though his voice was barely more than a whisper. Angeal felt it across his cheek - he slipped a hand to cradle the back of Gen’s neck and toy with his nape.

 

‘You,’ Angeal said, simply. ‘it’s always been you, Gen. I’ve known it for a long time, but the last couple of days, I… I don’t know, I-’

 

‘I know,’ Genesis sighed, a flush of colour on his cheeks as he leaned into Angeal’s touch, eyes closed in a dreamy bliss that sent shivers under Angeal’s skin. Was this real, happening? Angeal rubbed little circles into Gen’s nape until he fixed with a look that bolted him to the spot. ‘don’t you dare stop talking now, Hewley, I haven’t had _one_ ramble yet,’

 

‘I think I’m distracted again,’ Angeal said in a hush. He shifted his weight and brought Genesis into his arms properly for a hug that took all the heaviness out of him - Genesis melted, resting his head on Angeal’s shoulder, breathing warm against his neck. Angeal smoothed a hand up his back, down again, harder here and fingertips there.

 

‘I think about how I could have ruined this or watched it go by,’ he started. ‘it’s more than I can bear, Gen. And I meant it, you know, that it’s always been you.’

 

‘Always? Always a pain in your ass?’ came Genesis’ muffled voice.

 

Angeal had to laugh. ‘Always my best friend,’

 

‘And now?’

 

‘I won’t go quicker than you’re comfortable with,’

 

‘One thing at a time?’

 

Angeal nodded, and smiled when Genesis pulled away from him to meet his eye and gauge… something, something that made him smile too after a moment. It was sweet and fleeting and wonderfully shy - Genesis had a flush across his cheeks that begged to be kissed as much as his lips did.

 

‘Well,’ Genesis said, ‘good - I don’t want a repeat performance of this _woe is me_ guilt again. You’ll be draping yourself over furniture next.’

 

Angeal didn’t know how he’d ended up with Genesis virtually in his lap. He pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw and hummed. ‘Of course,’ he said, and felt Gen’s fingers grasp at his shoulders. _One thing at a time._

 

‘If you’re ever uncertain, _please_ , for the sake of my sanity, just ask me how much I adore you, Ange,’

 

It was as though a match had been struck inside him; Angeal looped his arms around Gen’s middle and pressed his cheek to his chest to feel the rise and fall of his breaths and the sound of his heart, real things to anchor this dream to.

 

As Genesis rested his chin on Angeal’s crown and traced fingertip patterns over his shoulders, Angeal wondered if there should have been more fanfare, more… fireworks and frenzy to all this. Maybe it’d come later - God only knew how numb he’d been. Things quieted, then, and he thought he heard Genesis laugh lightly.

 

No. No, he was glad it had happened this way; privately, naturally. Peace would be its own reward after the sleepless nights, and Genesis…

 

Angeal smiled into the crook of his neck.

 

‘You know, I think I’ve been waiting my whole life to hear you say that. Since we were kids I figured you and I would always been together somehow, but I’m- I’m not trying to plan our lives in this moment, but I mean, I…’ he laughed again - hopeless, completely. ‘You’re the only person I’ve ever wanted to do any of that with,’

 

‘Ah, and there he is,’ Genesis said. Angeal heard the smirk in his voice.

 

Everything fell into place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah sorry for the huge hiatus!! hopefully it won't be happening again now im sorta kinda settled in my new place... work is kicking my butt and im having some problems with carpel tunnel in my right wrist, ughhhh, but i have some fun ideas for this fic and these two so im gonna push on to the end! ..................and i have an epilogue separate pwp fic idea too so,,, watch this space
> 
> thank you for reading and waiting, please enjoy the new chapters to come! (i'm nightrunning on tunglr too so come yell abt genesis to me)


	5. Chapter 5

**** Genesis had called it a “catch-up” so Angeal did too - but whatever it was, it certainly was  _ not _ a date. Not at all.

 

Angeal was happy to follow Genesis’ lead under the assumption that there was no need to label things if the two of them knew what the other was feeling. After the night in the theatre they’d rekindled their long, winding nightly phone calls. They shared their dinner hours, met to collect groceries, and more and more often Genesis was showed up on Angeal’s doorstep after work to “hang out” - or to fall asleep on his chest after eating, really.

 

The day of their not-date was a grey Saturday morning. Genesis brought Angeal to the town gallery, moving past the larger pieces to lead him by hand further inside.

 

An installation, Angeal judged, secreted away in a room kept dark and quiet that he initially mistook for a staffroom or supply closet. It stretched the length of the building, a long narrow corridor with a dozen neon-wire writings on the wall, made to look like handwritten notes.

 

Genesis was looking at them, quietly; something clicked with him, obviously, and whilst Angeal appreciated the glow, it was hard not to be distracted. Gen’s eyes were bright, and Angeal knew there’d be a hundred connotations to make for himself if he took a moment, too, but it all came back to the man at his side.

 

Nobody else was in the room with them; Angeal pulled Genesis’ back to his chest in a bracing hug, pressing a kiss to his crown and smiling when he heard him laugh.

 

‘Do you do this to everyone you have these platonic days out with?’ he teased.

 

‘No,’

 

‘Oh, so I shouldn’t have a word with Zack about how much time he’s been spending with y- _ oh _ ,’

 

Angeal grazed his teeth lightly across Genesis’ ear and felt the shiver that went through his body. It was like lighting a match, it was molten moving under his skin, it was… too good to be true, surely? Angeal nosed at Gen’s temple.

 

‘If you speak with him it should only be to thank him,’

 

‘That doesn’t sound like me,’

 

‘Well, he’s the one who talked sense into  _ me _ ,’

 

Genesis made an incredulous sound and untangled himself from Angeal’s arms to turn around and smirk at him.

 

‘ _ Fair _ talked sense into you? Oh, good lord, you must have been desperate,’

 

That… wasn’t something Angeal could deny, actually. He winced. Genesis’ laughter tapered off softly, and he curled his fingers around Angeal’s wrist, tugging.

 

‘Come on,’

 

Genesis walked him through the installation - each piece had a name and a story and he knew them all. Angeal twined their fingers and listened, more interested in the connections Genesis made than the art itself, if he was honest.

 

‘-upfront honesty, but totally anonymous, which is the point. How often do you speak completely candidly to someone? Ultimately, you reshape the things you say depending on who you want to hear it.’

 

Angeal nodded.

 

‘These are talking about other people,’ he gestured to the artworks. ‘but it’s really a conversation between one person and themselves.’

 

‘Like, coming to terms with something?’

 

‘Mmm,’ Genesis squeezed Angeal’s hand. ‘and sometimes that’s a celebration and sometimes it’s more like,  _ well, fuck _ ,’

 

Angeal hummed; he empathised, and could see why this would interest Genesis, too. He remembered what he’d said on the stage the night they’d confessed, about his music being a means of spring cleaning the mind.  _ This  _ was  _ that  _ but with words, and Angeal understood, then looked again with fresh eyes.

 

‘The beauty of having them all collected here is that who knows who’ll click with which piece. Sometimes things need to be kickstarted - someone will look at that,’ he pointed to a sign: in perfect pink cursive. ‘and think of someone else, and it’ll be  _ well fuck,  _ or  _ well fuck  _ but with a smile.’

 

‘Or maybe one after the other?’

 

‘Maybe,’ Genesis agreed. He moved on and Angeal followed, watching the light in his hair and the way he seemed so much more relaxed here than he had done before, walking through the high street. Angeal realised, with a lurch in his stomach, that this was the most chilled he’d seen Genesis in, what, weeks, more?

 

That time was lost, but he had a hundred apologies to make and hundred more things wanted to do and say that he hoped would go a distance towards making it up to him.

 

‘This one’s not so much a confession as-Ange?’

 

Genesis was looking at him. Angeal gaped, pretending he’d been looking at the sign and not totally zoned out… only for Genesis to laugh and set a hand on his chest.

 

‘I can’t tell,’ he started, looking up from his lashes. ‘if you’ve always looked at me like that or if I’m just noticing it now. Or if it’s wishful thinking, I suppose,’

 

‘It’s not,’ Angeal said quickly, covering Gen’s hand with his own.

 

‘And yet you’re still playing so hard to get?’

 

‘Hard to get? You said this wasn’t a date, Gen,’ Angeal said, and pressed a kiss to Genesis’ temple and hummed as he was held there a moment. Genesis breath on his skin and his laughter in his ear - it was everything he’d wanted for so long coming true in a matter of seconds.

 

‘Do old married couples go on dates?’

 

‘Are we an old married couple?’

 

‘Yes,’ Genesis said pointedly, pulling away. He frowned then, swiped a thumb along Angeal’s jaw and met his eyes. ‘no, actually. No. We’d be skipping a lot,’

 

‘That’s true,’

 

‘And there are things I’ve been meaning to take my time with,’

 

‘I know,’ Angeal agreed. His hands found Gen’s waist, and the two of them looked to one another with old familiarity and new suspense. Genesis hitched up on his toes to meet Angeal’s eyes square, snaking a hand around his neck.

 

‘How long have we been playing at this - most of our lives?’ he whispered. ‘Too long. It’s an awful long time for anticipation to build,’

 

Angeal nodded. Genesis tilted his head and smirked.

 

‘Even for the smallest things,’

 

He was so close… he’d only have to move a little to kiss him.

 

‘You’re right,’ Angeal whispered.

 

Genesis let out a faux-moan that went straight between his legs.

 

‘I love hearing you say that,’ Genesis teased, taking advantage of Angeal’s stupor to press a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth and tap his cheek.

 

Angeal came back to himself with a shiver - it was all he could do not to pull Genesis back to him and cover him in butterfly kisses ‘til he was laughing, hair in his eyes, too loud for the gallery. It was all he could do not to imagine him sprawled out on a pillow beside him, breathing raggedly, sweating a bit, dazed and sated and  _ happy _ .

 

Genesis winked.

 

‘How long until you have to be back at work?’ he asked, peeling away to look more closely at the neon.

 

Angeal checked his phone and groaned; two missed calls, one from Zack and another from a number he knew belonged to a client.

 

‘Ten minutes ago,’

 

Genesis rolled his eyes.

 

‘Come on, Hewley,’

 

Genesis lead Angeal by hand back through the gallery and into the glass foyer with a hand that was soft and insisting, and always warm.

 

A sudden left turn and Angeal almost tripped. Genesis was headed through another wing of evenly spaced paintings. Passersby mooched from one to the next, bundled up against the cold and in no rush to return outside.

 

‘You know where you’re going?’ Angeal teased.

 

‘You should hope so,’ he smirked over his shoulder, then Angeal saw an idea take root in his eyes, lighting him up. ‘although, you’re already late, aren’t you?’

 

He stopped and the world carried on spinning around Angeal. Genesis blinked lazily at him with those pretty blue-green eyes, and… 

 

‘I have people waiting on me, Gen,’

 

‘Nobody’s waited on you for longer than I have,’

 

Angeal winced and looked away quickly with a guilty shudder, only for Genesis to tut and set a hand on his face, stroking his jawline and bringing their gaze back together.

 

‘Don’t start - you know that’s not what I meant,’

 

Angeal nodded, but it was true, wasn’t it? He’d never fully considered those weeks they’d fallen apart from Genesis’ perspective - now, it hit him square. The wondering and not understanding; it must have been such a sore bruise.

 

‘Ange, no, come on - let’s go back to your gauche flirting,’

 

‘Gauche?’

 

Genesis just smiled.

 

‘If I kissed you would you snap out of this?’ he asked, and laughed lightly when Angeal gawked at him. Everything was spinning again, and the guilt was bubbling under his skin, shot through with something warmer here and there. Genesis tapped his cheek. ‘That’s a yes, I assume?’

 

‘You don’t have to,’

 

‘I know. I’m going to.’

 

Angeal wound an arm around Gen’s middle and heard him sigh. He closed his eyes, and Angeal took a moment to stare before he bowed to touch his lips. A flicker caught his eye - a face turning to look at him,  _ staring _ .

 

‘Ange?’

 

A fresh shiver went down Angeal’s back. He pulled Genesis closer to him to look at the woman over his shoulder, stood in front of a red and black impressionist piece in a heavy bronzed frame. He knew he recognised her - the coiffed greying hair and upright posture, the old designer handbag that used to be on the armchair whenever Angeal was invited to Genesis’ manor house as a child.

 

_ Oh, that’s my mother’s _ , he’d say with a shrug, not looking at it.

 

‘Shit,’ Angeal murmured.

 

‘It’s Genesis, but I’ll let you off this once,’

 

‘No, Gen-’

 

‘What?’

 

She was really staring now. God only knows what she’d assumed was going on between them - Angeal felt his blood run cold. Genesis peeled away from him with a frown, following the line of his gaze and seeing her, too. Her eyes shifted, her face tensed. Mother and son in the same place for the first time in how long? Angeal didn’t care to guess.

 

Genesis stiffened and his shoulders set; all the things that had been warm about him turned icy in an instant. He whirled around with a glower.

 

‘What is this?’

 

‘Gen-’

 

‘Is this…’ he pressed, turning to look where-  _ oh, of course  _ -she was coming over. Genesis made a frustrated noise and looked back, furious,  _ scared. _ ‘Did you have this planned?’

 

‘No!’ Angeal said, startled and trying to keep his voice low. He grabbed Genesis’ wrist and brought the underside to his lips. Genesis watched, biting his lip and shaking his head. Angeal’s stomach twisted. ‘I wouldn’t - this, I don’t know why she’s here, I don’t,’

 

‘So she just happens to turn up  _ now _ ?’

 

Angeal gaped. Genesis’ look said  _ prove me wrong _ , _ tell me it’s not how it looks _ , but Angeal didn’t know how. His limbs had turned to lead, and all the while Mrs. Rhapsodos was edging closer with a mind to speak.

 

‘Genesis?’

 

She held out a hand that Genesis didn’t look at, let alone accept. Her hair was greyer than Angeal remembered, she was older, too. Long gone were the days where she’d been a boogeyman on the top of the stairs, ear pressed to her son’s door. Angeal and Mrs. Rhapsodos had gotten on well enough on the surface, though she often would make a point of asking what his plans were -  _ For what? For the future, of course. You’re about that age where you ought to be making a match. _ She said she thought it’d be a good example for Genesis to follow if Angeal were to settle down, always something about a  _ Celeste  _ or an  _ Emma  _ that had asked after him.

 

Those were the nights Genesis would sneak him into the barn and not speak, save to say  _ you’re my best friend, Ange _ , in that small voice. Sometimes they’d kiss, never for long, mostly they’d sit close and watch the bats in the trees.

 

Now, Genesis looked as flighty at thirty as he had at thirteen. Mrs. Rhapsodos withdrew her hand and curled it at her side.

 

‘Listen to me,’ she started. ‘Genesis, give me a chance. Let’s go where we can talk. The three of us, even? I know that you-’

 

Genesis scoffed and caught like a match.

 

‘ _ Please _ , what do you know? I won’t play nice and pretend you and father didn’t break me apart,’

 

‘Genesis!’ scolded his mother, under her breath. ‘We have to set things straight, you have to see that.’

 

‘No, we don’t!’ Genesis snapped. He took a step back from both of them, colour in his cheeks and a glint in his eye, and Angeal felt as though he were watching it all from behind a glass wall. Genesis caught his eye, Angeal tried to say something, somehow, but Genesis shook his head.

 

‘Save your money, mother.’ he said, darkly, and turned away to go.

 

Angeal swore under his breath and was ready to chase after him when a hand caught him around the arm. Mrs. Rhapsodos shot him a look, so much like her son, that fixed him in place even as his heart beat a frantic pulse against his ribs.  _ He’s getting away… _

 

‘You have to talk to him,’ she said.

 

Was she expecting sympathy? Angeal sidestepped out of her grasp and looked for Genesis - but he was long gone, now, and people were watching. Angeal fumbled for his phone and swiped away the missed calls from his client.

 

‘Angeal?’

 

He hit dial on Gen’s number, held it to his ear. Mrs. Rhapsodos raised a brow. Angeal held out on the phone for a minute before the voicemail prompt kicked in. He raked back his hair and had almost tried again when he felt a flicker of irritation.

 

‘I… I’m not sure I know what to say to you right now, Mrs. R.’

 

She held up her hands. ‘I understand that. I understand that this might have been… ill-advised, but how long are we supposed to wait? You know as well as I do how stubborn he is once he’s decided he’s going to feel a certain way.’

 

Angeal frowned. He was certain Genesis didn’t  _ decide _ anything.

 

‘I was only hoping to explain our side of things,’ Mrs. Rhapsodos said.

 

‘I don’t think it needs explaining,’

 

‘It does.’ Mrs. Rhapsodos said, resolute. Angeal sighed. ‘It does - and I’m sorry. I thought he’d be ready to hear it.’

 

‘He might have been, but… today,’ Angeal curled his fingers around his phone and took in a deep breath; the air hollow in his chest.  _ You’ll never know what your interrupted _ , he thought. ‘you can’t come out of the blue at him like that.’

 

‘I understand.’

 

‘And besides, you’re the ones who cut him off,’ Angeal went on. ‘you told him not to bother going home anymore,’

 

‘That was his father,’ Mrs. Rhapsodos countered, looking uncomfortable. ‘you remember his temper, surely, they’re one and the same, the two of them.’

 

This couldn’t be happening - Angeal pinched the bridge of his nose and held his eyes closed. Genesis should be hearing this, not him. He’d wanted a resolution, too, but not like this.

 

‘The cutting him off,’ Mrs. Rhapsodos started, then looked away, frustrated. Heads turned away now the worst of the drama had passed, and she lowered her voice. ‘it was never supposed to be permanent. I thought if  _ I  _ was the one to find him and talk to him that maybe I could use a more delicate approach.’

 

‘Don’t you think it’s a bit past that?’

 

Mrs. Rhapsodos seemed like she’d scold him for a moment - her eyes flashed and she opened her mouth, but it passed quickly. She touched a hand to her chest.

 

‘You know him better than I do, now. What would you do if you were me?’

 

Angeal laughed, grimly; he was asking himself that, too. He went to a bench in the corner of the room and sat heavily, checking his phone again for messages and calls. Nothing. Angeal paused over Genesis’ contact details before deciding against hitting dial - Gen didn’t want to talk to him, not now at least, and trying to divine his movements would take all of his focus. Angeal rang his client.

 

‘Honestly? Give him his space. He’ll reach out to you if he wants to,’

 

Mrs. Rhapsodos followed him but didn’t sit down.

 

‘And you’re certain he  _ will _ reach out?’

 

Angeal met her eyes. She knew the answer to that, she had to - he was her son. Genesis had had enough expectation levelled at him. There was no point in kidding her,  _ or myself, _ Angeal thought, knowing he was in the same boat.

 

‘No.’

 

Mrs. Rhapsodos nodded, and despite everything, Angeal couldn’t bear to see the hurt in her eyes. His phone rang out to voicemail again, so he cut it off and leaned forward to catch her eye.

 

‘Look, I’m hopeful that given some time… he might. You have to let him breathe, though, let him get on his feet in this new life he’s trying to make,’  _ The one you shooed him out into _ , he didn’t add.

 

She fixed her glasses and the mask was back in place; suddenly she was the woman Angeal remembered from years ago.

 

‘Of course,’ she said, curtly. ‘I’m… I’m sorry. Tell him I said that.’

 

Angeal nodded and watched her go, neatly, in the opposite direction. He sighed and felt an ache that ate up his energy;  _ telling _ Genesis anything would mean finding him…

 

* * *

 

He wasn’t answering calls or responding to texts, he wasn’t at home; Angeal spent half an hour pacing his bedroom before deciding to throw caution to the wind and round up a search party. He wasn’t going to sit here all day hoping Genesis would be back before nightfall.

 

Sephiroth agreed, grudgingly, on the basis that a little trouble now could save a lot of trouble further along the line. Zack was ready and eager to help, though Angeal had to remind him once or twice that this wasn’t  _ exciting _ , exactly. Sephiroth parked outside Gen’s apartment with an eye on his social media, and Zack covered the places Angeal had already looked, just in case.

 

After an hour, then two, Angeal ran out of places to search. He’d driven around a dozen dozen blocks and checked all of their old haunts; the theatre, the library, the one cafe on the high street Genesis would eat at. Angeal began to doubt that Gen would be out in the open at all -  _ he’ll have gone to ground somewhere safe… and dry. _

 

The heavens had opened a half hour ago; the rain was bouncing off the pavement.

 

Angeal startled and pulled onto a curb outside an off licence when his phone buzzed in his lap. He fumbled for it, hoping, and felt his stomach twist when he saw that it was Sephiroth calling.

 

‘Hello?’

 

‘Angeal, we might have something.’

 

‘You’ve seen him?’

 

A pause. Angeal watched the windscreen wipers push the rain back and forth across the glass.

 

‘Not myself. An associate thinks he did.’

 

_ An associate? _ Angeal gave himself a shake; now wasn’t the time.

 

‘Where?’

 

‘The grove,’

 

Angeal bolted upright. ‘What?’

 

Genesis was out in the rain? Angeal glanced at the thick knit of cloud overhead.  _ He must be heading elsewhere, _ he reasoned,  _ and quickly. _

 

‘That’s what I was told,’

 

‘He’ll catch his death,’ Angeal muttered.

 

‘He won’t, but I’m sure he wouldn’t turn away the sympathy.’

 

‘If he gets sick-’

 

‘He won’t.’ Sephiroth said again, matter-of-factly. It didn’t settle Angeal’s stomach any.

 

‘Thanks for your help,’

 

‘Of course. Update me?’

 

‘Sure,’

 

He ended the call and texted Zack.  _ G at the grove, probably cutting through it _ . His hands felt awkward and he was certain adrenaline was the only thing holding back the nausea. Zack replied within five minutes, an emphatic  _ I’m on my way! _ followed by a string of emojis that caught on something hopeful in Angeal. He centred himself with a breath.

 

Even in the car the grove was a five minute drive away - Angeal rolled his shoulders and got the car moving again, no radio, no music. Everything that wasn’t the road was a blur, and each red light made the dread in him beat all the harder in his chest.

 

Should he think of something to say? Something clever, or a speech. Angeal remembered with another lurch the evening he’d arrived in the airport, he’d wondered the same thing… but with a different feeling inside.

 

Angeal pulled up outside the grove in one of the dozens of empty spaces - apparently nobody wanted to walk along the sodden flowerbeds or under the willows in the rain. Angeal didn’t have a choice. He left the car in a hurry without stopping to fumble for an umbrella or coat, heading through the iron gates. His steps felt dull and heavy and the park was grim, washed out.  _ If I lose his trail here… _

 

Following an instinct he knew he didn’t have the time to question, Angeal headed for the willows near the pond. A flash of red caught his breath. A man stood leaning on the pond railing.

 

‘Genesis?’

 

No reaction. Angeal moved closer and heard himself gasp when he saw him; sodden and soaked through,  _ Genesis. _ He was wearing the same light jacket and jumper that he’d worn this morning, and looked completely miserable.

 

‘What the hell are you doing?!’ Angeal called, barreling over.

 

Genesis turned to him, wringing wet.

 

‘I was trying to  _ think _ !’

 

Rainwater ran off the tip of his nose and down his cheeks, from his hair and the collar of his jacket. Genesis stood rigidly, like it was only his frustration keeping him from crumpling in on himself.

 

‘About?’ Angeal pressed.

 

‘About how this keeps happening!’ he growled over the weather, then scoffed and turned away when Angeal couldn’t fathom what  _ this _ was. ‘Look at today! Today was perfect until mother dearest turned up.  _ My  _ mother,’ he clapped a hand to his chest. ‘chasing  _ me _ .’

 

‘You couldn’t control that, Gen, you-’

 

‘No, but I could’ve taken that chance to listen to her,’ he said, and dropped his hand to his side. ‘and I could’ve laid off you, too.’

 

Angeal stepped closer with his stomach in knots. Genesis moped the hair the away from his brow.

 

‘I… It goes without saying that I never really believed you’d plan something like that,’

 

‘I know,’ Angeal said, softly. There was a step between them he didn’t dare bridge, yet. Gen’s chest was heaving, he was shivering, and the rain showed no sign that it’d stop. ‘You gotta stop beating yourself up like this, Genesis, I mean it.’

 

Genesis shrugged weakly.

 

‘I realise that,’

 

‘It’ll eat away at you,’

 

‘I realise that too.’ Genesis said, cutting a glance.

 

‘Come home, Gen, we can’t stand out here like this!’

 

‘I can’t,’

 

Angeal’s heart sank. The rain was sloughing down his jacket, down his neck and into his shirt.

 

‘Why not?’

 

‘Because!’ Genesis snapped, voice breaking. He ignored the hand Angeal held out for him. ‘Do you think I can bear watching you make that face? Knowing it’s because of  _ me _ ?’

 

‘That’s just ‘cause it’s raining, come on,’

 

Genesis laughed, joylessly, and slumped. He looked aside at where the rain was rippling across the surface of the little pond, shaking the boughs of the trees.

 

‘You have so much love in you, Ange,’ he said, quietly. ‘but it’s wasted,’

 

‘Don’t be-’

 

‘No,’ Genesis looked at him. ‘I’m telling you that it’s better spent elsewhere. I’ll never be free of this,’ he opened his arms. ‘but it doesn’t need to be your albatross, too. It’ll hound you if you get too close - it’s already happening,’

 

‘I know that,’

 

Genesis frowned. ‘You know?’

 

‘I know, and I still love you, come on,’

 

Genesis looked as though he might break, he opened his mouth, wordlessly, and Angeal froze as he heard the words again.

 

_ Well, _ he thought, watching Genesis’ eyes,  _ now he knows. _

 

It happened in a moment drawn out slow, second by second; Genesis’ softness sharpened into a  _ glare _ without malice. He covered his mouth and turned away, and Angeal felt the lead in his legs dissipate with a shudder. He went to Genesis and caught him up in his arms, feeling him shiver.

 

They stayed together, not speaking, and Angeal cradled Genesis and smoothed his sodden hair. The tall grasses on the far side of the park were buffeted this way and that, and Angeal watched listlessly whilst Genesis cried against his chest.

 

‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered, eventually.

 

Angeal looked to him, bewildered.

 

‘Sorry?’

 

Gen nodded.

 

‘You could’ve been so happy with someone else,’

 

‘Hey, no,’ Angeal said, tilting Genesis’ chin. ‘enough of that,’

 

‘Ange-’

 

‘I’ll carry you to the damn car if I have to,’

 

Genesis relented with a weak smile, linking his arm with Angeal’s and nodding. They avoided the worst of the puddles on the gravel path. Angeal guided him to the car, unlocked it, and set him in the backseat. They were going back to his tonight, he’d decided; Genesis could fall asleep in the back if he needed to - he kept blankets there for such an occasion.

 

For the second time that day Angeal was struck with a sense of déjà vu - Genesis tugged at his coat before he could make his way to the driver's seat.

 

‘I have to drive-’

 

‘I know,’ Genesis said. ‘I know, but I need you to say it,’

 

‘Say what?’ Angeal ducked out of the rain into the car, closing the door behind him. Genesis bit his lip.

 

‘That you want this, between us. For real.’

 

Angeal smiled and took Gen’s face gently in his hand; he was damp, still, and shivering.  _ And beautiful _ .

 

‘I want this, for real,’ he said. ‘I want you.’

 

Genesis said nothing, did nothing. A bead of rain rolled across his cheek and he nodded ever so slightly.

 

‘Right,’

 

Angeal laughed, relieved. Years and years of imagining this… but he’d never have expected it to play out the way it had. He watched Genesis watching him, stroking his cheek and thinking to himself that if it hadn’t been for all the hurt, he might not have changed a thing.  _ I need to get him home and warm _ , he thought to himself, and had been about to ask Genesis what he fancied to eat when he shifted and clambered into his lap.

 

He heard a growl and then there were kisses on his cheek; rough, desperate, a little grudging in a way Genesis had always made charming. Angeal laughed and held him closer, catching his mouth for a real kiss.

 

Genesis made a low noise. For a moment Angeal was worried he’d dissolved into tears again, he made to break the kiss to check and was stopped by a rough hand in his hair and a whisper of his name. Angeal closed his eyes, Genesis was kissing him, and it was nothing like the few they’d shared before.

 

They might have been a soft, tentative exploration if they’d been dry and warm. As it was, Genesis ground for purchase against Angeal’s body, moved by something nervous he could feel in the way he was breathing, how he couldn’t settle. Angeal broke, tapped their noses together and set his hands on Gen’s waist.

 

Genesis hummed and lapped into his mouth, Angeal let him, parting his lips and gripping tighter. Genesis rolled his hips and took the chance to deepen things as Angeal gasped.

 

Each kiss was taking his breath away, leaving Angeal with a fog in his head; surprise and relief blurring everything else ‘til he was left with little else beyond  _ God, it’s him _ . Genesis. Kissing him as though he  _ had  _ to. Angeal snaked a hand into his hair and heard him groan - he was so pliant, even now, and met Angeal’s eye for a moment when they broke apart to settle at the crook of his neck.

 

Angeal let his head loll back onto the seat and closed his eyes. Genesis mouthed at his neck, nipped here and there, restlessly setting kisses without a pattern.

 

‘Hey,’ Angeal tried.

 

Genesis mewled dismissively, biting down. Angeal laughed when he started to roll up his shirt, but it was slick and tight thanks to the rain, and Genesis persevered for a whole five seconds until he realised how much of a fuss it’d be to push it up. He set a defeated hand on Angeal’s stomach and shot him a wonderfully contrary look.

 

His chest was heaving and so was Angeal’s, and he brought Gen close to rest brow to brow, smiling.

 

‘I’d still take you on dates,’ Angeal said.

 

‘What?’

 

‘If we were married,’

 

Genesis laughed weakly, splaying his fingers.

 

‘You think about us being married?’

 

Angeal nodded. Genesis made a strangled sound and cupped his face, brushing his thumbs beneath Angeal’s eyes. Words felt clumsy tonight, not enough anymore. Genesis smiled and pressed a lingering, chaste kiss to Angeal’s cheek.

 

His phone buzzing startled the both of them. Angeal fished it out of his pocket with an apology.

 

‘Ange?’

 

‘Oh, hey Zack,’

 

Genesis had a question in his eyes - Angeal had almost forgotten Zack and Sephiroth, how long had they been waiting? A pang of guilt nipped at him.

 

‘You okay, big guy? You went dark on us for a while there.’

 

‘I’m okay, yeah, sorry-’

 

‘Wait,’ Zack said, and Angeal could hear the rain in the background. ‘you don’t sound insane anymore, is Gen with you?’

 

Genesis tilted his head, the question was still there, though he smiled when Angeal stroked a long line down his back.

 

‘Angeal, dude? You got him?’

 

He looked to Genesis for… permission, he supposed, and smiled smally against the kiss Gen set on his lips.

 

Angeal cleared his throat.

 

‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘I got him.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TYSM for reading this very long chapter!! .... we're getting into the Real happy stuff now...... 
> 
> mini life update: wrists are much better! arm hurts cause i got a half sleeve tattoo (2 more sessions left....), and generally im feeling better. its way too hot here in the uk and i already thought summers were Too Hot so im like extra dying
> 
> there's a few chapters of gentle hour left, and i'm wondering what to do when it's wrapped up... i think i want to write some shorter things (cause i always seem to lose my way with longer stuff), and i have an idea for a JJBA thing ... if that's anyone's cup of tea (part 5 confirmed am i right ladies)
> 
> ANYWAY...... thank you as always ! and as always i'm nightrunning.tumblr.com open 24/7 to talk about how genesis in canon wears platform heels

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! i'm nightrunning.tumblr.com (though... it's just memes & cats there mostly) lets talk about crisis core someday!


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